Selain Kita, Ada Dia


AMARAN !! : Catatan ini TIDAK sesuai untuk mereka yang lemah semangat.

29 April 2013 bersamaan 18 J'Akhir 1434H, sejak bangun dari tidur sehingga masuk ke sekolah, mata Farahin terkebil-kebil menahan mengantuk. Maklumlah, semalam gatai tidur lambat. Bangun pun terlewat. Untung ayah ketuk pintu, kejut. Hehe. Tapi selepas beberapa jam melayan subjek-subjek yang memerlukan ketangkasan otak bekerja, mata kembali segar walaupun perut menyanyi menjerit "kantin!!". Laparlah kata kann. Well, tak breakfast. Breakfast is not my style except kalau memang lapar pada waktu pagi.

Selepas rehat, it's time for English subject ! But then the teacher was late because she've something to do. 35 minutes later she went into the class and started scolding us for not passed up our exercise books as what she asked to. We were standing. About minutes when she was scolding, suddenly my whole body was numbing and shaking. Kedua-dua kaki Farahin hilang kekuatan untuk berdiri. My hands turns white and pale, shaking obviously. My head was dizzy and I could heard a piercing sound vividly went through my head. I drank some water and whispered to myself,"No. Not now. Not now, Farahin."

As I stand with the pain, it became more painful. My partner realised about my condition so she asked me to sit down. However, it still hurt me very much. Bahagian pangkal leher Farahin I mean yang berada selevel dengan dagu kita itu seperti dipulas dan ditekan. I couldn't breath properly. I opened my librarian coat and the brooch at my tudung. Farahin berharap ini dapat membantu agar Farahin dapat bernafas dengan lebih baik. Tapi tiada apa-apa yang berubah.

As the teacher asked the students had their seat, my partner asked me with care. I couldn't answer it fluently because my teeth was numbing like beings rubbing by steel or things that would make it to has a vibration. The teacher also asked the same thing as my partner did. Finally, she confirmed that there was something else inside me. Thing that tried to take over my body. She asked me to meet one of ustaz in my school but I refused. I believed this wouldn't be long.

Actually, this ever happend to me before. Many times. And this was my second time in this fifth year at STABK. My friends started giving me some massages on both of my hands as they were shaking obviously. They said that my face was pale. One of them said that my face like lossing its shape. Another one said that the colour turns white. Farahin sendiri berasa takut apabila memandang ke arah tapak tangan Farahin. They were cold and white like I was lossing my blood in it. Urat-urat biru dan hijau Farahin timbul dan kelihatan jelas di tapak tangan. Farahin menggenggam tangan banyak kali dengan harapan agar darah dapat mengalir dengan baik. But then, the hands remains cold and pale.

Setelah diurut-urut oleh besties, keadaan Farahin semakin pulih. Kepala Farahin tidak sesakit sebelumnya. Tapi kaki dan tangan Farahin masih terasa kebas. Cikgu Farahin menyuruh Farahin luruskan kaki dan tegakkan badan. Tapi macam manapun ia masih sakit. The whole class looked at me with a bundle of nerve. I could see blurred faces on the Chinese and the Malays started beings worried.

When the teacher wanted out from the class as the period had finished, my condition got better. I could stand properly even tried to jump to test for my strength. However, my hands stayed shaking but had turns to red. Alhamdulillah. Do you want to know? Ini merupakan tempoh yang paling lama Farahin berkeadaan sedemikian. Sebelum ini hanya dalam 10 minit. Huhu. Apapun, yang penting Farahin selamat dan semua orang selamat.

Farahin baru tahu bahawa Farahin hampir dirasuki apabila my bestie yang selalu pergi berubat untuk membuang saka mengkhabarkannya. Begitu juga dengan cikgu yang juga pernah pergi berubat atas hal yang sama. My bestie said that thing failed to take over me because of my own strength. Kalau tak, Farahin mesti sudah meracau ala-ala histeria. Huhu

Actually, Farahin pun memang ada gangguan saka. Tapi Farahin tak tahulah 'tetamu' seperti apa yang datang tak diundang itu. Tapi apa yang menjadi persoalan, it came when my teacher went into the class as she just backed from helping the ustaz treating a students.

At first, I bet there was something following her as she went into the class. Tapi cikgu sepatutnya dapat merasakan kehadirannya sejak awal sebab cikgu Farahin ini mempunyai kebolehan untuk merasa kehadirannya. While my bestie itu pula ada kebolehan melihat and me ada kebolehan mendengar. Tapi tidaklah terlalu kerap. If Allah wants to let me heard it, then it will be. Huhu.

Then tadi ketika subjek Sivik, Cikgu Sivik tanya about this incident. Well, she's my English Teacher closest friend. Yet dapat tahu pula Cikgu Sivik pun mangsa saka. Haihh. Senasib sungguh. Haha. Cikgu ada tanya whether Farahin lemah semangat atau tidak. Of course I am not! Farahin paling suka tengok cerita hantu. Tapi itulah. Malaysia ni macam lack of horror ideas. Tak habeh-habeh dengan cerita cinta. Pfft! Hehe.

Oh, ya! Two days ago I got 'lovebite' on my hips. Lovebite?! Haha. Just kidding. I mean gigitan daripada pelesit. Kesan gigitan ini akan muncul tanpa sebab seperti terjatuh or terhantuk. Usually akan muncul selepas bangun tidur. Kesan gigitan ini kebiruan seperti lebam.

Tahukah apa itu pelesit? Erm sejenis syaitan juga. And of course ada juga yang bertuan. Saka juga, mungkin? Apapun, tiada apa-apa yang perlu ditakutkan. Bukan semua orang akan terkena tempias saka ini. Jadi bagi yang terselamat itu, bersyukurlah ya. Alhamdulillahirobbil'alamiin. Till then, I end this long long post with 'Selain kita, ada dia'. Haha. And Happy Blogging!

Tanda-tanda dirasuki jin :
1) Merasa kebas-kebas anggota badan.(kaki,tangan,muka) ( )
2) Sakit pada pinggang, bahu, tengkuk atau kepala. ( )
3) Sakit perut yg memulas seperti dijerut tali. ( )
Source : http://lonevslove.blogspot.com/2012/04/sihir.html

p/s: Esok Hari Pekerja! Sekolah Cuti! Yay :D



ELF Searched For Hyperhidrosis Yesung ?!

Assalamualaikum...

Hello, guys! Actually, I'm so damn lazy to write anything. But I'm in mood to edit something stupid. So, Tadaa !


I found this in SJelfFoundland statistic.
And I tried to search for it.
BOOM!


Kyaa~! So many. Anyway, ELF-ah, what did you tried to search actually? Hehe. Pretending like didn't know. Ngehehe. To non-kpopers, let me translate this. I bet my ELF tried to search for pictures or maybe stories of our Yesung oppa with his sexy sweating body. Am I right, girls? Haha. Aigoo! (>///<) Under age, under age. Hihii

Ehem! ELF, it's better if you only imagine about it. Because that much clearer than a picture! Kekeke. However, thank you for searching. If not, Google wouldn't increase SJelfFoundland's traffic. Kamsahabnida, chingudeul! Oh oh! I'm a hyperhidrosis sufferer. Actually, not really suffering. Huhu


p/s: When will Yesung oppa go for his military army? Is it confirmed?


Mendaki Sampai Berdaki


Pss! Post ini boleh dikatakan sebagai kesinambungan kepada Longkang 1 & Longkang 2. So here it is! Longkang 3: Mendaki Sampai Berdaki published! :D

21 April 2013 bersamaan 10 Jamadil Akhir 1434 Hijrah. Tiada sesiapa dapat meramal apakah yang akan berlaku pada hari ini. Segala yang dirancang, belum tentu berjalan dengan lancar sukses berjaya gitu. Tetapi untuk hari ini, Alhamdulillah. Allah SWT telah memberikan sebuah lagi nikmat kehidupan yang amat besar maknanya bagi Farahin.

Hari ini badan beruniform Puteri Islam STABK telah mengadakan sebuah aktivit mendaki Gunung Lambak. Seriously, selaku setiausaha yang berat tulang, this is my first time mendaki gunung. Inipun cuma separuh. Tapi kaki dah menggeletar kalah pesakit parkinson. Ia sebuah pengalaman yang sangat menarik actually.

Farahin bawa dua paket my most favourite biscuits, Oreo, tiga paket roti RM 0.70 dan dua botol air mineral tolak campur tolak 1000ml keseluruhannya. Sepaket Oreo dan roti hadam dirembes gastrik jus dan dua botol air mineral clear already. Anyway, nasib baik masa Farahin melantak makanan tersebut tiada 'kawan' yang curi. I mean 'kawan-kawan' yang dok jelerkan ekor di atas pokok sana. Nyet Nyet namanya. Hihi. You know what, they're so damn kyute! Hope dapat bawa balik seekor but then tak sanggup katanya hendak berpisah daripada ahli keluarga. Fine. Terpaksalah Farahin lupakan sahaja hasrat karut tersebut. Hmm kecewa lagi. Eeh? Hehe

Selain mendaki sampai berdaki, kami ada juga buat aktiviti ala kanak-kanak riang gitu. Seronok juga melayan junior yang malu-malu kucing rimau ni. Tapi bila tengok si senior merangkap myself, uiseyh! Mak mak pun kalah. Haha. Just kidding. Come on lah. Kita dalam kumpulan ni mestilah enjoy happy go lucky! Even Farahin ni 4D type, at least janganlah sampai spoilt keadaan. Am I right? So, apa salahnya hipokrit kadang-kala. Asal ia baik untuk semua dan diri kita juga! Hihi

Lepas main-main, snap-snap, jom turun balik ke kaki gunung! Tak alih-alih ada pula anak cikgu ini terseliuh kaki. Poor her. So Farahin, Ana, Cikgu Asmah dan dua orang pelajar UPSR tolonglah adik ini. Farahin suggested supaya adik ini didukung. Fine. Ana gendong dia and Farahin pun tolong bawakan beg Ana. Wah! Bina muscle nampaknya Ana ni. Haha

Dalam perjalanan hendak turun, kami berenam sudahpun jauh ditinggalkan oleh kumpulan yang lain. Paling tak boleh blah banyak pula rintangannya. Level 1 : Seekor monyet datang hendak merampas bungkusan makanan cikgu. Passed! Level 2 : Cenuram yang licin. Passed! Level 3 : Dikerumuni sekawan lotong hitam. Yang ini memang giloss susah! Diorang semua memang dekat giler dengan kami. Besaq pula tu! Then Cikgu Asmah ajak zikir ramai-ramai. Alhamdulillah, passed! Akhirnya, tibalah kami di tempat perkumpulan. Ranting di tangan Farahin yang pada asalnya untuk get ready untuk bantai monyet di Level 1 kekal sehingga kami keluar dari hutan. Yeah! Anggaplah itu sebagai pedang wirawati atas kejayaan melepasi ketiga-tiga level. Haha. Macam main game pula. Hee

Lepas penat menuruni gunung, rehat-rehat, pusing-pusing di playground, kami berangkat pula ke rumah Cikgu Hasimah dengan berjalan kaki secara berombongan. Katanya dekat sahaja dengan Gunung Lambak, ish! Cerita tipu rupanya. Ternyata kami terpaksa menambahkan daki dengan mendaki bukit yang entah berapa meter tingginya untuk ke sana. Kasut Ana pun sampai kopak jadinya. Dahlah pukul 11:30 pagi. Uiseyh! Memang aktiviti yang sangat mahsyuk untuk perangkan kulit. Ceyh! Macam kulit ni tak cukup perang je. Dah coklat pun. Lemak berkrim lagi. Apapun, nasib baik makanan yang cikgu sediakan berbaloi setelah kami berhujan keringat, berbulukan daki mendaki bukit untuk ke rumah cikgu. Alhamdulillah. Kenyang wow!

Masa hendak balik ke Gunung Lambak, pfft! Hujanlah pulak. Layann. Perut sudah loaded. Mata pun dah ala-ala Salman Khan gitu. Mahu tidur daa! Kalau bukan sebab rumah cikgu, dah lama Farahin and my gang bergolek-golek atas tikar. Apabila hujan dah reda, Cikgu Kamariah sent me, Ana, Aznie and Raidah backed to Gunung Lambak. Maka bermulalah sketsa kami di situ! Tadaa.


Ana called his brother to fetch her. Then Raidah called her mom to ask her super daddy to fetch her, me and Aznie. Tapi sementara menunggu di bawah hujan renyai-renyai yang macam nak tak nak je berhenti di tepi jalan berhampiran longkang, kami pun buatlah aksi badut masing-masing. Sampai suatu ketika, kami berempat mencangkung di tengah jalan macam awek baru kena tinggal pakwe. Thought tiada kenderaan lalu sebab dah lama kami di tepi jalan tapi tiada kenderaan lalu pun. But then, our friends lalu. Aishh! Kantoi sudah sketsa kami. Habis masing-masing pecah perut ketawa sampai mengalir air mata. Seriously, tak sangka akan kantoi. Huhu

As soon as kakak Raidah dan suaminya datang dengan kereta, me, Aznie and Raidah pun tak membazirkan masa untuk memenuhi ruang tempat duduk belakang dengan punggung masing-masing. Then, kakak Raidah kesian tengok Ana tertinggal seorang. So we decided untuk temankan dia. Yalah. Bahaya taw biarkan awek cun macam Ana tunggu seorang diri. Buat diushar orang, tak niaya Farahin. Eh? Apahal pulak? Hello. She's my 'bini' okay. Nak ushar dia, ushar wa dulu. Eeh? Hehe. Ini bukan main-main, ini betul-betul. Hee

Anyway, pengalaman ini sangat sangat sangat mengujakan. Today Farahin berperanan sebagai senior untuk memerhatikan junior, bestie yang prihatin akan bestienya dan tak lupa menjadi badut di tengah jalan bersama dipayungi hujan yang renyai-renyai. Huhu. Ermm apa lagi hendak story? I think enough for now. Pyeong!
p/s: Esok nak sekolah tak? Penatlahh. Hikhik


Esei Hati



Farahin selalu tertanya-tanya kepada diri sendiri. Bagaimanakah dia mampu bertahan dalam hati Farahin selama lima tahun ini? Bagaimanakah wajah dia, senyum dia, ketawa dia, dan suara dia mampu diulangputar oleh akal selama lima tahun ini? Bagaimanakah perasaan ini mampu bertahan selama lima tahun ini? Bagaimanakah Farahin mampu bertahan dalam keadaan sedemikian rupa? Adakah hati ini terlalu degil atau mungkin ini adalah permainan qarin berserta rakan-rakan syaitannya?

Sejak usia kanak-kanak sehinggalah sedewasa ini, Farahin membesar dengan perasaan ini. Walaupun menyakitkan dan menyedihkan, Farahin sentiasa memaafkan tidak kira lambat mahupun cepat. Perasaan ini seperti tidak mahu berhenti. Adakah Farahin cuma menipu diri sendiri, atau memang inilah perasaan yang sebenar-benarnya?

Perasaan ini menyebabkan Farahin tidak sanggup membenci. Apatah lagi, melupakan. Perasaan ini menyebabkan Farahin takut untuk meminta apa-apa daripada Tuhan. Sama ada meminta untuk melupakan mahupun meminta agar dia kembali, Farahin tidak memilih kedua-duanya. Farahin hanya ikutkan apa yang telah Tuhan aturkan untuk Farahin dan hati ini selama lima tahun ini. Perasaan ini seolah-olah tidak dimakan masa. Sebaliknya, ia sendiri yang memakan masa Farahin. Semakin pendek tempoh hidup ini, perasaan ini bagai ingin berpanjangan. Bukan Farahin tidak kasihan kepada diri ini. Malah Farahinlah yang paling bersimpati akannya. Tetapi hati ini mendesak untuk berkorban walau sesakit apapun. Akal juga bagai tidak cukup kuat untuk menghalang.

Setahun lalu Farahin sentiasa mengkeji dan membenci dia. Namun kini Farahin mula berlembut hati. Farahin mula memaafkannya. Realitinya, bukan salah dia menyakiti hati ini. Dia cuma tidak mahu menyakiti Farahin pada asalnya. Tetapi Farahin yang mendesak sehingga dia terlanjur menikam hati ini. Sebenarnya, Farahin bukan marah atau membenci dia. Tetapi Farahin marah akan diri sendiri. Disebabkan Farahin, hati ini terluka. Disebabkan Farahin juga, dia berasa serba salah. Disebabkan Farahin, diri ini bagai dibenci olehnya. Benarlah bahawa yang buruk itu memang datang dari diri kita sendiri.

Akhir-akhir ini Farahin acap kali teringat akan dia. Tambahan pula, Tuhan telah memperlihatkan dia kepada Farahin hampir setiap kali waktu rehat di sekolah. Sebenarnya, hal ini tidak akan terjadi kalau bukan hati ini yang mencari dia. Dia semakin tinggi dan kacak. Wajah kanak-kanak 12 tahun, langsung tidak lagi kelihatan. Tapak tangannya luas dan tubuhnya nampak sedikit berisi berbanding tiga tahun dahulu. Entah kenapa Farahin berharap Farahin dapat berdiri bersebelahan dengannya dan mengukur ketinggiannya. Entah kenapa Farahin seperti tidak percaya bahawa dia sudah menjadi seorang pemuda berusia 17 tahun. Sedangkan selama lima tahun ini Farahin cuma ada gambaran wajahnya ketika berusia 12 tahun. Dia yang dahulunya lebih rendah daripada Farahin, kini sudah mengatasi ketinggian Farahin. Ternyata Tuhan menjaganya dengan baik. Alhamdulillah. Benarlah bahawa hidup ini akan sentiasa selamat selagi kita ada perlindungan Yang Maha Kuasa.

Memandangkan dia semakin dewasa, Farahin berharap dia juga tidak lagi seorang penakut seperti dulu. Seorang penakut yang tidak mahu bersaing dengan pasangannya yang kononnya lebih baik daripada dia. Dia seorang lelaki. Dan seorang lelaki harus berani menerima apa-apa cabaran. Bukan untuk berdarah sesama sendiri, tetapi saling memperelokkan diri masing-masing. Apapun, kalah tidak bermakna tidak layak sama sekali. Menang pula belum tentu sempurna seratus peratus. Manusia ini terlalu banyak kekurangannya. Jikapun semakin sempurna, pasti semakin banyak kekurangan yang ada.

Seorang sahabat karib berpendapat bahawa Farahin ikhlas terhadap dia. Tetapi Farahin sendiri tidak berani mengukur keikhlasan hati ini. Entah perasaan ini sesuatu yang benar atau cuma mainan 'kanak-kanak', Farahin tidak berani menilainya. Seingat Farahin, tiada satu pun perasaan ini memenuhi tuntutan lima perkara. Tidak pada keturunan. Tidak pada harta. Tidak pada agama. Tidak pada akhlak. Tidak juga pada rupa. Mungkinkah perasaan ini memenuhi tuntutan yang di luar lima perkara? Tuntutan di mana, hidup ini biarlah berkasih-sayang, saling memaafkan dan ikhlas antara satu sama lain. Begitukah?

Apapun, malam ini hati Farahin sungguh tidak keruan. Mungkin juga kerana dia. Mungkin juga pasti ada hal-hal yang lainnya. Maklumlah, apabila fikiran semakin matang, semakin banyak yang ingin difikirkan. Bermaksud di sini ialah SPM, sekolah, ibu bapa, guru-guru, kokurikulum, cita-cita, kerjaya, universiti dan dituruti dengan hal-hal kurang mustahak seperti dunia kpop dan perasaan ini. 

Walau bagaimanapun, hidup perlu diteruskan walau seteruk apapun ia kerana dunia ini antara nikmat yang Tuhan kurniakan kepada kita. Maka, nikmatilah ia asal jangan lupa mencari bekalan untuk perjalanan kita selepas kehidupan ini. Kita tidak tahu bila masanya tiket untuk bertolak akan keluar dan bila pula masanya kereta api akan tiba. Yang pasti, ia tidak cepat mahupun lambat walau sesaat. Bersedia sahajalah.





Pada Hari Engkau Ucapkan Selamat Tinggal


Pada hari engkau ucapkan selamat tinggal
aku terdengar jeritan kereta api di udara
semakin lama semakin sayup
lalu hilang
seperti dirimu

Pada hari engkau ucapkan selamat tinggal
aku berharap moga pemergian ini cuma sementara
seperti kapal terbang yang berlepas
melewati langit biru jauhnya
namun tetap akan pulang ke lapangan asal

Pada hari engkau ucapkan selamat tinggal
aku bisikkan pada hati bahawa itu cuma lakonan
tetapi air mata tetap menghujan
dingin rasanya jiwa ini
terpaksa menerima sebuah pemergian

Pada hari engkau ucapkan selamat tinggal
aku mula mentangisi memori yang ada
merawat luka hati yang sembuhnya entah bila
malam menjadi teman bagi kesunyian
manakala siang menjadi pentas lakonan

Pada hari engkau ucapkan selamat tinggal
aku tetapkan untuk menunggu sebuah kepulangan
namun akhirnya ia ternoktah sendiri
tetapi hari ini aku kembali duduk di perhentian
menanti lagi


Read an ELFiction: The 60 Days! HERE

ELFiction: The 60 Days (Leeteuk ft. Yesung)


You’re one of the solo artists in SM entertainment. And you secretly have a special relationship with the leader of Super Junior, Leeteuk. One day, when you were sitting in your make-up room prepared for your second music video recording, Leeteuk went into the room with a bright smile. You could see his cute dimple clearly on his face.

Leeteuk: Wow! You look gorgeous. -excited-
You: -smile- Well, of course. I’m _________, right?
Leeteuk: Haha. Arasseo. Erm need any help?
You: Help me put the mascara, please.
Leeteuk: Sure. –stand in front of you and help you putted the mascara on your eyelashes- Do you know what the most your part I favoured?
You: What?
Leeteuk: Your eyes. Okay, done.
You: Jinjja?
Leeteuk: And this. –softly kissed your lips-
You: -fascinared- Oppa.
Leeteuk: -smile- Oh! I’ve something for you. –pulled out a light blue box from his pocket-
You: Uh? For me?
Leeteuk: Yup. –gave the box to you-
You: Can I open it?
Leeteuk: Of course.
You: Wow! Nice bracelet. –impressed-
Leeteuk: Do you like it?
You: Yes. –felt guilty- But…I can’t take this. –put the box on the table-
Leeteuk: Bwo? Waeyo?
You: Oppa. Actually, I’ve something to tell you.
Leeteuk: What is it?
You: I… (I’m going to die.) Let’s break up. Please.
Leeteuk: -shocked- Yah,________. Are you kidding? That’s not fun at all.
You: No. I’m not. Seriously, let’s break up.
Leeteuk: -heartbroken-
You: -leave-

As soon as you went out from the make-up room, you then went to the recording set for your music video.  When you were walking down the stairs, suddenly your head was ache and dizzy. Everything look blur and finally dark. You could hear a voice of Yesung calling for your names but you couldn’t open the eyes. It was like you were heaving a dream during your sleep.

Yesung was waiting anxiously outside the ward as the doctor and nurses were checking on you. After that, Leeteuk came as Yesung had called for him. Leeteuk face was pale and his chest went up and down obviously. He very worried about you and so that he used the stairs and not the lift as he wanted to arrive at the ward quickly.

Leeteuk: ________. How is she?
Yesung: Hyung. Doctor… -the doctor went out from the ward at right of the time-
Leeteuk: Doctor. How’s the patient?
Doctor: She’s fine. She is just tired. She have awake. She can accept any visitors now.
Yesung: Kamsahabnida, doctor. –bow-
Doctor: Yae. –bow and leave-
Yesung: -relief-
Leeteuk: -rushed into the ward-

Leeteuk rushed into the ward as soon as the doctor leaved. He was impatiently to see his beloved woman. As he entered the ward, he saw she was standing near the window looked to the outside. He even could see her tears running out through her cheeks and reached the chin. He felt sorry to see her in that way so he went towards her and gave her his white handkerchief.

Leeteuk: You need this.
You: -shocked and hide the face-
Leeteuk: You don’t have to hide it. I’ve saw it.
You: Gwaenchana. I need nothing from you. –went to the bed-
Leeteuk: Why did you cry? Because of me? Or you’ve regrets for leaving me? –curious-
You: It’s none of your business. – wanted out from the ward-
Leeteuk: Wait. –grabbed your hand- Where do you want to go? Doctor said you’re tired. So you should rest at least only for today.
You: -roughly pulled your hand- I don’t need your advice. –leave-

When you went out from the ward, then you saw Yesung was sitting on the waiting chair. You stared at him with a pair of tearing eyes. He then stand and went towards you. He holds your hands and stroked your hair with lot of care. Yesung always acted like he knew and understand everything. He is such a friend with lot of care and understanding.

Yesung: Let’s go to some nice place?
You: Good then.
Yesung: -smile- Gaja. –hold your hand-

It has been late night but Yesung still didn’t back to the dorm. Leeteuk was waiting for Yesung anxiously. He even started thinking of bad things about that guy since he saw his beloved woman went along with him in the hospital. He tried to think positively that Yesung and _______ were only friends. But his jealousy make him couldn’t accept that fact. Suddenly he heard voices from out of his room. They were Yesung’s and yours.

You: Kamsahabnida, oppa for today.
Yesung: Yae. Get an enough rest. Remember what the doctor said.
You: Arasseo. Erm nan khanda.
Yesung: Okay. Good night. Bye.
You: Good night.

Yesung switched on the lamp and suddenly he saw Leeteuk was standing at front of his room. Yesung was shocked to see him for sudden. He stroked his chest with sigh for relief.

Yesung: Huhh. Su hyung, you make me shocked. –went to the kitchen-
Leeteuk: Where have you been with __________?
Yesung: -drinking- Erm nowhere. Just hang out at my place. You know, on top of the building. –continued drink the water-
Leeteuk: Do you like here?
Yesung: Bwo?! Yah, Su hyung. Are you mad? Me, with her? Impossible.
Leeteuk: I think she likes you. (I hope not)
Yesung: That’s what you think. Okay. I’m going to have a shower and sleep. Let’s continue tomorrow. –putted his hand on Leeteuk’s shoulder-

You went into the company building when you accidentally met Leeteuk at front of the glass door. Both of you were staring at each other. You felt sorry for what have you done to Leeteuk. You did love him so much but you couldn’t let his heart broken more if he knows about your big secret. You could see Leeteuk eyes were tearing. You bet he was begging to you in his heart.

Leeteuk: How are you?
You: I’m fine. –leave-
Leeteuk: ________-ssi.
You: -stopped-
Leeteuk: Wae? Why did you treat me like this? I thought you’re the right one for me. But look like not.
You: -silent- Then, you should look for other person. (Mianhae,oppa) –leave-
Leeteuk: How? How can I look for other person? As I only see you. _________. –sigh-

You was sitting in a dance studio; waiting for Yesung. You’ve sent a message said that you want to see him a few minutes ago. You looked at your side. There was a chocolate envelope which contained important things in it. You just received it from a hospital. Suddenly, you heard someone opened the door. It was Yesung.

Yesung: _______-ah. Mianhae, if I’m late.
You: Bwoya? I just sent you a message ten minutes ago. And you’re here now. –smile-
Yesung: -giggle- So, what is it?
You: This. I just received from the hospital. –gave him the envelope-
Yesung: Bwo? –took the envelope and opened it- This…
You: Yae. I want you to save it for me. Can you?
Yesung: Sure. But why me?
You: I lose my spirit when I saw it. Feel like everything is just a waste. So I don’t want it disturb my life today.
Yesung: -sigh- Arasseo. You can count on me.
You: I know. –smile-
Yesung: Err __________-ah.
You: Yae.
Yesung: You know right that I love you so much?
You: -smile- Yae. But, I’m really sorry. I’m not worth to be love and to love.
Yesung: -sigh- I think you should tell Su hyung about this.
You: No I don’t want to hurt him more. I’m not willing to see he cry for me. Not anymore.
Yesung: Fine, if that what you want. –hugged you-
You: Kamsahabnida, oppa. –hugged back-

Yesung just went home. As he wanted directly to his room to hide the envelope that given by you at a safe place, suddenly Leeteuk came and hold his shoulder. Yesung was freaking shocked and accidentally fallen the envelope onto the floor.

Leeteuk: Yah, why so shocked? Huhu. –took the envelope- (___________?) Yah, is this belongs to _________?
Yesung: Bwo? Aishh aniya.
Leeteuk: Wait. Are you having any affair with ________?
Yesung: Bwo? Of course not. She likes you. –tried to grabbed the envelope-
Leeteuk: She broke our relationship.
Yesung: Bwo?
Leeteuk: Don’t act like you don’t know anything. She leaved me because of you, right?
Yesung: Yah, Su hyung. What are you talking about? Give me the envelope.
Leeteuk: -roughly opened the envelope-
Yesung: -panic- Yah, Su hyung. You can’t…
Leeteuk: Let me see it. What is this? X-ray vision?
Yesung: That…that…aishh-sigh-
Leeteuk: -blur- Yah, Yesung. Who’s this? Barhae. –curious- Yah, I’m asking you. –raised his voice-
Yesung: -stucked-
Leeteuk: The envelope is addressed to _________. Is this X-ray vision belongs to her?
Yesung: -sigh- Su hyung, actually I shouldn’t tell you this. But yes. It belongs to __________. She’s suffering of brain cancer. And she doesn’t want you to know this. Please don’t make the situation harder.
Leeteuk: Bwo?! Brain cancer?? –shocked-
Yesung: 2 months. She only has 2 months to live. 7 days had past.
Leeteuk: -quiet-

You just finished taking your bath. As soon as you went out from the bathroom, you directly straight to your make-up table and comb your wet hair. Suddenly, you saw Leeteuk’s image on the mirror. As you turned your back, he was standing near the door right behind you. You were shocked to see him. He must have used the second key that had given by you to come into your house.

You: Oppa.
Leeteuk: -went towards you and stand neared to you-
You: Why did you come into someone house without her permission? –strict voice-
Leeteuk: -put his hand on your head- This brain that always remember to me. This brain always dream of me. This brain also thinks of me all the time. So, how can it being sick? Is it because of me?
You: Yah, what’re you talking about? –removed his hand from your head-
Leeteuk: Yesung have told me the truth. Actually, I forced him to.
You: Bwo? (No! He shouldn’t!)
Leeteuk: About your disease. –kneel to you- Mianhae.
You: What..what’re you talking about? –anxious-
Leeteuk: You don’t have to hide it from me anymore. Just cry if you want. Free your anger if that you feel. I’m here for you. –holds your hands-
You: -pulled your hands and stand- So, do you come here to show your sympathy? Fine. I got it. Do leave now.
Leeteuk: No. I wouldn’t leave you anymore. –get up- I’m here to give my whole life to you.
You: Life? I don’t need it. The death is wanted for me.
Leeteuk: Even only for 60 days? Don’t you want for it?
You: -silent-
Leeteuk: -put his arms around your waist- Will you marry me?
You: -shocked-
Leeteuk: Marry me, ________.
You: Wae? It’s just a waste. I’ll die. –tearing eyes-
Leeteuk: Because..I love you earnestly and I promised it will stay the same till my last breath.
You: No. It should be till my last breath.
Leeteuk: Till our last breath. –kissed you deeply-

Two days later, Leeteuk and you get married by registering only. Both of you also make an interview with media and announced the news, including about your brain cancer disease. The fans were sad to know about it. There were many letters, emails, tweets and more from them which prayed for your health and happiness.

A month then, your condition went worst. You had hair loss and often got headache. Due to that, the company have to end your contract and let you have more rest at home. Leeteuk also often be at home when there were no recordings or performances. He spent his time more with you. He smile and shows his happiness in front of you. He really cares about you. When you refused to have your medicine on time, he will persuade you till you finished the medicine.

You: No. I don’t want. They just make me becomes more sick.
Leeteuk: You’ve to eat them. This is for your health.
You: My life will end either even I swallow them.
Leeteuk: Yae yae, arasseo. But this will help you. Help us.
You: How can?
Leeteuk: This may help us to have this life more than 60 days.
You: Impossible.
Leeteuk: Wae? Are you really wants to leave me when the 60 days are done?
You: Yah, I don’t mean that. –pout-
Leeteuk: Then, you’ve to eat them. Here. –near the pill at your mouth-
You: Arasseo. –eat the pill from Leeteuk’s hand-
Leeteuk: -gave you a glass of water-
You: -drank- You’re really like an old man.
Leeteuk: Bwo? What did you said? –tickling-
You: Ah. No. -ticklish- Don’t. Aigoo. Haha. –happy-

The last 7 days before the 60th days, Leeteuk was killed in an accident. On that day, your life absolutely just ended. It was really unexpected that your beloved husband who was healthy gone before you who have a big reason to leave the world. Since that, Yesung replaced Leeteuk to take care of you. That proved that Yesung love you very much. However, you couldn’t give him any hope. As you could feel that your death is just around the corner. Leeteuk must waiting for you.

You: Till the last breath, I love you. –whispering-
Yesung: ________. It’s cold now. Let’s go inside. –ran to you-
You: Yesung oppa. What’s the date today? –weak voice-
Yesung: -stand behind your wheelchair- Fifth December. Waeyo?
You: The 60th days had passed since 2 days ago. He’s right.
Yesung: Who? Su hyung?
You: He said that ‘they’ will help us to have this life more than 60 days. But he’s not here today.
Yesung: -sigh- No. You’re wrong.
You: Wae?
Yesung: He’s there. Inside you. I can feel it.
You: -smile-
Yesung: Geez. Gaja. I’m frozen now. –pushed your wheelchair-
You: You’re worst than a brain cancer sufferer. –joking-
Yesung: Bwo? Arasseo, arasseo. –gave up-
You: Huhu.


p/s: I'm too lazy to devide it into parts. Mianhae! Too long, right? Hee

Hadiah


Hati ini adalah hadiah untukmu. Dan sesuatu yang telah dihadiahkan, adalah mustahil untuk diminta agar dikembalikan.
Assalamualaikum...

Tadi di sekolah waktu Pend. Islam Farahin belajar tentang Hadiah. Cikgu ada sebut bahawa walau bagaimanapun rupa atau harga sesuatu hadiah itu, ia tetap menggembirakan hati si penerima. Kemudian, tiba-tiba Farahin berasa rindu untuk beri hadiah kepada my-ex. Rasa macam sudah lama tak sambut ulang tahun dia. Tapi kalau dalam keadaan sekarang ini hendak beri dia hadiah, takut-takut ada salah faham pula. Tambahan, lagi teruk kalau niat Farahin nanti terpesong sedikit. Yalah. Kalau hendak beri hadiah, perlulah ikhlas. Tapi Farahin takut kalau Farahin beri dia hadiah nanti nawaitu Farahin berharap supaya dia kembali pula. Hmm itu sudah semestinya salah. Lagipun, I think dia sedang berpunya. So, I've to keep this niat only by myself. Actually, I want to share about this feeling with my bestie. Tapi Farahin rasa ia tidak begitu penting untuk dikhabarkan. Well, I always think first about what I'm going to say or want to say. Tapi my bestie selalu beritahu, "Tak apalah. You can share everything with me. Kita kan kawan." Huhu. Sweet saja. Tapi walau apapun, Farahin tak naklah buat dia rimas dengan cerita-cerita karut or unmatured from me. Kita kan sudah besar. Ceyh! Hehe. So, kalau setakat about crushed, puppy love, ex, for me ia cuma perkara kecil yang tidak perlu dibesar-besarkan. Hee

Kabur-kabur sebuah wajah terlakar di langit biru
aku senyum laluku tundukkan pandanganku
tiba-tiba air mata berlinang melekuk batu
terasa sejuk di hati
mungkinkah aku rindu?

Semalam lepas kelas tambahan, semasa Farahin sedang tunggu ayah di pagar belakang sekolah, Farahin buatlah kerja bodoh ukur ketinggian pada tembok. Tembok itu lebih tinggi than me. Then, I tried to imagine if that wall is my ex. Hmm he's taller than me now. Padahal, semasa di primary school, he's shorter than me. Huhu. He's growing up. So, goodluck to him! :)

p/s: recently, sometimes akan teringat or terfikirkan my ex. However, I think that feeling is going to disappear. Alhamdulillah


Lucky Follower, 1010 !

Assalamualaikum...
nothing to say or write here. Just want to review this lucky ELFollower. Why? Because I love the number. 1010th ELFollower. Who is the follower? Take this first :

Papp!


That's it ! An image with blue border. Sue nss? Who is she? Continue reading to know more. Huhu. She's a 91-batch. Want to know as Nur Suhaida. From Kuantan, Pahang and is in a relationship. But with who? Hehe. Just asking. She's a Kpoper, dude! Do follow her Kblopper (Kpop+Blogger) ! I'm sure she'll love that. Hihi

Click this header to take a flight to her blog ! Kekeke


To the ELFollowers, Thankyu for following SJelfFoundland and increased the ELFollowers! Alhamdulillah *bow* :D




August and The Red Glasses

WARNING ! : This is Fangirling post :p

Assalamualaikum...
Okay. I'm absolutely tired right now. My eyes already red but it's evening now. It's not nice to have a nap. So what's the matter with August and The Red Glasses? Erm the truth is nothing. But I've something to say about it. Here. Come closer. No no no. Not that close. Your eyes, I mean eyes, do focus on this post. Hihi. Today in my class, when I wanted to write an essay, accidentally I wrote 1st August 2013 as the date. Bwoya?! August? We just in April?? Huhu. I don't know why. But I guess maybe I miss that guy? That guy who born on 24th August 1986. Yes. That guy. Yes! That guy is Yesung. My beloved biased. Huhu. Annoyed? Okay. Do close the tab. Hee.

That's about August. Now how about The Red Glasses? Woo~ sound mysterious? Oh yeah Oh yeah! Let's move your head like how BEAST did in their Mystery mv! Haha. So, yesterday I met a chinese junior name Tan Soon Wah. Yeah. I knew him. He's kind and polite to his nuuna. Uuuu~ I like that. Hihi. He wore a pair of spectacles with red frame. Aigoo~ It remind me to Yesung also! I smiled by myself after met Tan Soon Wah because aigoo~ Yesung oppa image was playing in my mind! Blush blush. Huhu. Yae. I miss that guy. Really miss him. Till then, thanks for read! Sorry for annoyed you guys. Hehe


My most favorable part of Yesung is his eyes and lips. And I love his dark-side. Awww~ *pervert* XD




Akanku Terus Ketuk Pintu Tuhanku



AKANKU TERUS KETUK PINTU TUHANKU 
menangis dan mengadu 
tentang dunia yang penuh sendu 
dikala mata-mata sedang lesu beradu 
akan ku seru namaMU 
dipenghujung waktu yang sunyi dan sayu 

AKANKU TERUS KETUK PINTU TUHANKU 
sekalipun tanganku penuh debu 
sedang pintu itu seputih susu dan salju 
kerana ku tahu tuhanku 
tidak pernah menghalau tamu 
yang datang bertemu dan menyeru 
sekalipun dosa memenuhi angkasa 
namun keampunannya meliputi segalanya 

AKANKU TERUS KETUK PINTU TUHANKU 
tanpa jemu tanpa malu 
selagiku memanggilnya DIA Maha Tahu 
aku hanya seorang hamba ada dosa ada pahala 
namun DIA Maha Mulia 
limpahan kemaafan tiada tepian 
kerana DIA Tuhan Ar-Rahman 
sedangkan aku insan penuh kedaifan 

AKANKU TERUS KETUK PINTU TUHANKU 
mengadu dalam sayu dan sendu 
merintih tentang dunia yang letih 
janganlah aku DIKAU sisih 
dalam kurniaan nikmat kasih 
diri yang kotor pohon dibersih 
terimalah istighfar 
terimalah tasbih 


Sesungguhnya ALLAH itu tidak pernah jemu dan meluat mendengar segala rintihan,luahan hambaNYA. 
Segala MAHA terletaknya pada ALLAH SAHAJA.
Engkau hambaNYA yang lemah,kenapa perlu engkau angkuh dalam meminta terus kepadaNYA? 

Sedarlah diri , Sedarlah hati.
Pintalah , Rayulah.. 
MAHA AGUNG akan mendengar tanpa sebarang kejemuaan. 
Tanpa sebarang kebencian.

DIA yang satu.
Pintalah,rayulah.
Segala ujian yang hadir akan lebih mematangkan engkau wahai hambaNYA yang lemah.



Credited to: Ain'Afini



Musang Oh Musang


Assalamualaikum..
Okay. Going to write a short post only. Hari ini merupakan hari pertama kembali ke sekolah setelah enak sedap yumm yumm berehat di rumah selama seminggu. Okay. Seminggu sudah tidak galas beg sekolah. Omo ! Berat oii kemain. Huhu. Masuk ke kelas . . . . . . . Ehh upssii. Apakah itu? Jaraknya kira-kira 20 cm from my desk. Oh yeah yeah. Itulah najis pelawasan Musang! Aigoo banyak pula tu. Sakit perut hape musang ni? Hmm nasib nasib. Memang gilos April Fool lah. Haha. Anyway, sebut saja. Tak sambut pun okay. Kalau setakat nak make fool on others, tiap-tiap hari pun boleh. So, everyday is a fool day ! lol. Okay. For this year, this is first time ada najis musang di dalam kelas. Last year pun terkena juga. Past 2 years, pun hado juga. Aigoo apa badi daa. Haha. Hmm selain kena fool dengan najis musang, hari ini ... Oh Mak Angkat Baldi Melambung Kain Meletup ! Hehe. Melatah pula. I got my first test paper. Math, English, Chemistry and Add Math. How the score? Let's say luluslah ya. Malulah hendak habaq markah. Kita bukannya kanak-kanak cilik. Hehe. Tapi yang ini tak malu. I got 100% for my Math ! Bwoya?! Ini memang gilos gilos April Fool ! This score ... This ... I mean This ! I never get 100% for my Math since in 2ndary school you know?! Aigoo It's so fucking freaking me out! Apapun, have to say Alhamdulillah. Allah sudah beri rezeki, usah berlagak. Ya dak? Hehe. At least, this bolehlah cover my others subject. Kehkehkeh. Okay. Till then, Happy Blogging ! It's raining here ! I love it ! Hihii



Hari ini Farahin asyik humming Venus by Shinhwa dalam kelas. Huhu. I love the song! And those ahjussi were Woww! Hehe




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