“Hey! I’m so impressed with your tummy!”
“Oh, god! Have you lost your weight? You should eat more!”
“Wow! You look perfect with that ‘ball’!”
Those words always hurt you most. You never thought that your fat body would be very ‘attractive’ to them. It was unexpected.
You kept throwing the pebbles into the water and watched the waves formed and disappeared after awhile. Suddenly, someone hugged you from back. He putted his arms around your neck. That person was no other than Kim Heechul.
“Sarang-yah! What’re you doing here?” He cheered.
“Stop calling me that. I’m not your girlfriend not today even in the future”
“Aishh. You make that face again. Wae? Someone bullied you?”
“Correction. Not someone. But everyone” You pouted.
“Ahh. Look like I have been forget again” He sighed.
“Correction. Not everyone. I’m the only exception.” Heechul copied your words. You smile.
It was true. In this case, Heechul was the only exception. He never looked at you as a monster to scare of or as a toy to play with. He was the only guy, the only friend that accepted you as who the real you. He never disgusted on you. Otherwise, you the one who felt disgusted on him for kept clinging on you like a boyfriend. If just that could be happen. Unfortunately, it was damn impossible. Thus, you quietly crushed on him.
“Do you bring anything for me?”
“Yes, boss! I brought you this. Tadaa!” He showed you a bar of chocolate.
“Wow! Chocolate!” You tried to grab it from his hand but Heechul quickly brought it away.
“Let me feed you”
“Bwo?! No!” You tried to grab the chocolate again but failed.
“No chocolate without me” Heechul warned you.
“Pfft! Arasseo” You pouted.
Heechul broke the chocolate to a small part and tried to feed it to your mouth. You opened your mouth and yet you roughly grabbed the chocolate bar from his hand. At last, the chocolate was yours. You stick out your tongue to him and ran away. Even it was hard to run with your fat body, you forced to do it.
“Yah! __________” Heechul shouted.
“You should bring me more tomorrow!” You shouted from far and straight away went home.
In your way home, you finished the chocolate till there was nothing left. Then, as usual, you kept the wrapper in a pocket at your school bag. There were many wrappers of sweets and chocolates in that pocket. All of them were from chocolates and sweets that given by Heechul.
Heechul was walking with a beautiful, slim and tall girl by holding hands at the corridor. Their friendly relationship was eye-catching to the others. You even shocked to see it. You never knew that Heechul had girlfriend even he never told you about it. Your heart was broken too see your crush went with someone else but at the same time, you felt happy for them. They looked good together.
“Hey, fat girl! How’s that? You should know where you stand at. Kim Heechul is not all yours anymore” A girl insinuated you while the others laughed at you.
“Go get your snack, pufferfish!” Other girl pushed you till you fall onto the floor and the laugh got louder.
In pain and shame, you looked at Heechul showed sign asked for help but he went with the girl and ignored you. You thought he might didn’t saw you even he being so closed to you on that time. However, deep inside your heart, it was damn hurtful.
At the same place, same time, you sat at the lake side and did the same thing, throwing pebbles. But this time, your tears accompanied you. Your cheeks and nose turned red because of cried a lot. You felt like the world really hate you. Plus, someone that used to love you even only as a friend went with other girl who was more beautiful, slimmer and taller than you. You thought there was nothing good about yourself.
“Why this happen to me? Why? Is it wrong to be fat? It’s my body! It’s up to me! Aratji!” You shouted out loud.
“Can I join?” Heechul appeared at your back out of blue.
You turned your face and stared at him like a wild cat. You apparently hate this guy.
“Listen this” He whispered.
“___________! Fat girl! 153cm height! 60 80 70!”
“Yah! What did you say?” You felt mad hearing his words.
“Shhh. It’s not done yet” He cut your words. “193kg weigh! __________! Sa-rang-hae!”
You were freaking shocked to hear the last thing he said. Was it a joke or there was something wrong with your ears? Saranghae? Was that what you heard?
“Fuhh!” Heechul sighed, relieved. “How is it?”
“Are you crazy? There’s nothing fun about it! Shit punk!” You grabbed your school bag on the ground and went leave.
“It’s not a joke.”
“Then, what?” You stopped.
“I love you. I’m serious. I love you, _________” Heechul said with a serious tone. “I brought this as usual. If you love me, come and grab this like how you used to do” He took out a bar of chocolate.
It was impossible. Even if Heechul love you, and you love him too, you realized that you were not match to each other. The different is too big. You wished you have the answer. So you brought a step forward with no idea what were you doing.
“Don’t go. Please. Think about it properly” Heechul pleaded.
What I’m doing now? This is what I’m waiting for. Am I? This is what I’m dreaming of. This, I should grab it like how I used to grab the chocolate from Heechul.
You turned your back and faced Heechul. Heechul went to you with a bar of chocolate. You looked at the chocolate with no passion. Not as usual. It seemed like nothing to you.
“Tell me something about that girl”
“She’s no one”
You took your breath deeply. Then, you roughly grabbed the chocolate from Heechul’s hand and automatically the tears started brimming. Heechul gave a bright smile and brought you in his hug.
“I’m not beautiful”
“You’re beautiful than other girls in this world”
“Saranghae, Kim Heechul” You looked up to his face with your wet face.
“Sarang-yah” Heechul gently kissed you.
For the first time, you felt there was still a place for you in this world. That place was no other than in Heechul’s heart.