Assalamualaikum...
Hello, readers! How're you doing today?
It's only a few days left before Ramadan lefts us
and Syawal is just around the corner.
I don't know how to start this post. I've been often doubting myself lately. Especially, my thoughts and decisions. The way I revise them again and again don't make me feel better yet I come to encounter some kind of mental block. Someone might noticed or never, I did published a few posts here yet later I unpublished them. No mention I often deleted and rewrote captions that I made on my socmed. This thing is indeed normal at certain level. But when it is this too often for me, I don't feel it is normal anymore. Anyway, enough with the long introduction @ confession. Let's go straight to the real content.
I don't do casual curse. People said, especially those quotes and memes shared on socmed, when you cursed at your friends casually that means you're very close to not feel hurt with each other easily. So the thing is, I don't do casual curse. So far, I don't remember I called or used bodoh, sengal, or more such words with my best friends. They might used it with each other sometimes but not when they particularly communicated with me directly. Thus, am I not close enough with my best friends?
Maybe it's because I'm the only child, unlike most people around me who might has been growing using such words with their siblings, in their casual communication. Since I have been growing in this very like individual environment, I'm not very often exposed to this behavior. I think I have been growing with self learning of how to entertain myself without someone's presence.
Besides that, it may because of my own chosen society. I have my personal standard of who and what may get through my wall. It may has something to do with mistrustful behavior. However, I think it is more sided to patience and efforts. Also, it has nothing to do with time. Likely, it is based on my how comfortable and familiar I'm with someone. It may be cliche, but the final touch is when my instinct strongly tells me that it is alright to get attach with this person and my heart will just go for it.
Wait. Don't I kind of slip from the track? So in this matter, my kind of chosen society is like "I don't mind if you do casual curse but not with me." It's like a boundary. Your good and bad are yours. It may change or not. But when I have let you into my wall, your very presence is my important subject to learn. I may accept some parts of you and I may not for the rest. Above of all, your current presence is enough for me.
I spent years to let this group of friends entitles as best friends. Yet, I only spent months to get and feel close with my roommate from last year. We do attach to each other until now, even our distance makes each other absent. And she does do casual curse. When I was with her last year, I often heard she cursed over who knew what. However, until now, she doesn't do casual curse with me. I, myself feel comfortable with it and I hope she does too.
Anyway, I'm not too kind either with words or behavior too. I have my flaws and funny sides too. I do curse but not really casual because when I do, I really mean it. I curse when I'm in very bad mood. It also happens when I'm in very bad mood and something makes me jump out of shock. My curse don't have variety at all because I only use this two words, fuck and shit. They only have one sound to pronoun. Simple yet great impact, at least for me lol.
Last paragraph. So does casual curse is the right tool to measure how close you're with your friends? Well, it may be said so. Just like those quotes and memes. But for me, in general, to measure our bond or relationship with someone is counted on how safe and good we feel when we're with that someone. Either you do casual curse with each other or not, you know what is best for your own sake.
My little pious voice tells me, it's better to not curse at all. Such useless words are pointless. Ops!
Until here, I end this post.
Hope you love this sharing.
Thank you for your time and concern.
May you're blessed with good and healthy relationship.
See you in later post! bye bye. xoxo =)
When you cannot prevent the toxic, avoid it as best as you can.
