[WARNING!] My Unsuccessful Suicide

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my unsuccessful suicide.

my unsuccessful suicide begun
when my mind  became tricky and my body became very clumsy.
when my hand hesitated to reach the little knife in the empty drawer
yet ended up tightened it in the grip.

with half sane but fully conscious,
i grazed the sharp part of that little knife on my young thin skin.
it tickled and then came the pain before the presence of thick red blood.

my unsuccessful suicide begun
when three little straight cuts caused my not-so-fatty wrist wounded.
when the pain got clearer and my tricky mind became much cleaner.
as i came back to sane, what another bigger sin i had commit?
while that not much blood spill gave a lot of pain and tears,
what a weak kind of me?

my unsuccessful suicide begun
when tomorrow lie told the same story the day after.
when i laughed at my clumsiness like yesterday was just another shot of comedy.
forced to forgive this oneself when to forget can never been so hopeful.
it tickled and then came the pain under now healed wounds.











you know the game. ten facts with one is a lie.





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just because i'm a mental illness patient, doesn't mean i'm less human. -06/11/2019-