I Was a Dreamer

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i was a dreamer.

a child who wanted to be a lawyer thought that would make her parent proud.
a pet lover who found out that veterinary is a wonderful career.
a talent in drawing, a desire in writing, fantasized to be one.

i was a dreamer.

one day, i would make my parent happy.
i would make myself beautiful.

just, until when?

since when...

it turn out the dreams were all nightmares.

a child who only wanted to stay in her close room all day.
a pet lover who had lost many of her beloved kittens.
drawing on plain paper but ended up torn it apart.
instead of writing a fiction, i kept myself all silent.

what makes a dreamer is a dream she has.

then,

what makes the one with nightmare?
isn't it also a dream?

then, how can?

how can it be this ugly?
terrifying?

suddenly,

night became so sad.
dark was where i would hide.
cries became my usual lullaby.
regrets chained me during the bright day.

i was a dreamer.

am i still?


















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just because i'm a mental illness patient, doesn't mean i'm less human. -06/11/2019-