Relationship - Precious or Scary ?

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Night, peeps! How's your day?
My day was just about being lazy cozy.
Watching "To The All Boys I've Loved" which
reminded me a lot to my best friend who used to have many crushes too.
Yes, she still. But I never care. Hahahaha

Okay. So today post obviously about relationship. Maybe. Let's say I was a bit frustrating about my another best friend's drama. I knew she got problem with her relationship and yes, also her boyfriend. She complained to me about many stuff which actually make me happy that she wanted to share her stories with me. Well, I always do.

So last night, our topic touched more about trust, respect, and loyalty. Chatting with her for an hour and plus, it seemed all those three about to break. Or maybe, already?

First of all, I am not in relationship. I've been not in a quite long time. But I've this kind of view about relationship and love which I guess I love the idea of love and having relationship but not the reality of it. Yeah, how immatured me ha.

In my opinion, what comes first in a relationship is trust. Not just this romantic relationship. I guess even relationship between stranger and stranger. Don't we dare to smile or have a small talk with some strangers that we meant to meet at the middle of the way or somewhere because there is a piece of trust we keep to ourselves for them? Like how i even started to talk to my classmate when that time we didn't even reached that "friends" stage yet?

So, I don't get it. Why some people being in a relationship if there is no trust to be commited? If the feeling about missing and wanted to have that person are two of the cases, to me it would be fine to be suffocated every single day because of that rather than have the relationship for meaning to satisfy our emotional hunger.

To me, relationship is not just about filling an empty seat beside us but also willing to trust the seater. Make sure each other comfortable and safe in their seats even though sometimes the rough roads make them bounced and shaking. It is trust that make them wanted to comfort and take care each other. It is not only one party being selfish with the thought want to be in relationship. Between WANT and READY, there are big differences.

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I asked her, does relationship is about how precious it is or how scary it is? She laughed. Because at that moment, i thought her relationship was scary. Her boyfriend seemed used to cut their very honest conversation with excuses to not getting hurt or have more trouble. What! what make him this scare? His girlfriend being honest because she concerned to trust him since it was about to fade but she still wanted to keep that very tiny trust she have. Yet this boyfriend make his way out by his own and leaved the girlfriend in awe. I wish he dare to be more more open with her.

I don't know if relationship does scary but I used to have this mindset that it is precious. Just like friendship that I always admire and love. and fan-idol relationship that I stuck with. Haha It is precious. So why do we scare to trust him/her? It is precious. So why don't we want to appreciate it together? It is precious. So let's give it all to fix it! Which now, it seemed my best friend worked everything out by herself.

After a long chat, she said that she was already fed up and only could think about breaking up. It have been one year since they together and same problem keep happening while there is no positive changes. Maybe, a little bit.

I tried not to use my friendzone superpower and said that it is up to her. If she already put it in mind, then go on. Otherwise, she can still defend the relationship. Decision is hers. Honestly, I don't support this toxic relationship with broken mutualism and parasites. However as a best friend, I tried to support this girl I love. I don't care about her boyfriend. I only care about her. Her mind. Her heart. Her well being. I will be hurt if she hurt. No joking.

Lastly, a short message for you gorgeous readers. Appreciate the relationship that you're having now. Be brave and daring. Relationship is beautiful. I just don't get it why we've to spoil it. Totally not worthy. Or is it because I am not in one? Ha-ha

Till then, thank you
and good night!
xoxo =)

False start may have the right end. But the right start also may have the false end.
What does matter is in between and the goal to make everything back to right.



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an expected encounter
a very long acquaintance
allies in one soul
comrades in the same form

mirror is how we see each other
reflection is how we watch each other
her "good morning" is as cold as dew
her "good night" is as calm as the moon
her voice is as loud as my silent

when the world was too bright for my sight
she guided me as a black shadow
when darkness came to devour me
she shouted with her loudest cry

i told her most of the time "soon, I'll be gone"
and she never sighed to rephrase "I'll stay"
her warm smile caused me to look down
deep into the unknown.


Another Beginning

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Hello, peeps! Skip the August, now it's already September.
Semester break dah habis. Belang muka berkawad bulan lepas pun dah nak hilang.
Tomorrow will be the first day of my senior year.

The past semester still gives me its thrills and chills.
Takut. Takut kalau benda yang sama berulang lagi.
Takut kalau I have to going through another worst episode.
Tapi Alhamdulillah, these few days I am doing good.
Hopefully, this semester would be better and more healing.

Semester ni Farahin dapat seorang roommate baru.
A second year junior. Awkward juga nak ice breaking dengan dia.
Sebab dah lama tak jumpa dan buat kenalan baru. Well, huhu.
But now we're good. She seems to be a nice girl.

Oh! Also Alhamdulillah Farahin dah tauliah dengan jayanya.
Dikurniakan watikah pelantikan Leftenan Muda Angkatan Pertahanan Awam Malaysia.
Even dah tauliah, nampak gaya a journey still have to be continued.
As a Y.O (Young Officer) Farahin ada duty untuk jaga budak2 junior pula.
Let's just wait and see how this things will be.

For tomorrow, Farahin cuma ada dua kelas.
And actually, Farahin still tak sure nak pergi atau tidak. Hahahaha
Well, first day kot. Biasa kelas tak mula lagi pun. Nak pula cancel tetiba.
Nak menapak balik asrama tu yang malas sebenarnya. Hehe
Apapun, I am still excited. Only pray for a better day and better me.

Okay. Badan dah penat mengemas bilik.
Mata pun dah berat. Jomlah tidur ya.
Good night. Till we meet again.
xoxo =)

The all black picture you're staring at,
let's paint it with a new picture; dreamy and colorful.



why no one told me that i put wrong links for my Novel Pendek : Lutsinaran ? hiks. i just corrected it. you're invited to read it. =) -01/07/2020-