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Aku menyaksikan fenomena kehidupan ini. Ketawa riang muda mereka mengilai sampai ke langit petang yang murni. Mereka saling bercanda seolah-olah muda itu abadi.

Mereka dalam dunia mereka. Dunia yang serba muda dan ceria. Aku pula cuma menikmati dunia mudaku yang telah usang dimamah usia tua. Dunia yang penuh jerih duka lara.

Pernah dahulu muncung senapang British mengena tepat pada dahi luasku. Tapi umurku panjang apabila sahabatku sanggup bertukar bangku. Berbelas das tembakan mengena pada tubuhnya bagai ayam jantan disumpit pemburu. Aku kelu. Pilu.

Dahulu ketawa itu umpama perbuatan yang haram. Sebaliknya, esakan tangisan menjadi teman yang paling akrab siang dan malam. Pesan ibu jangan banyak ragam. Aku faham. Tapi British tetap datang membaham ibu setiap malam. Ibu mati di atas tilam. Duniaku suram.

Hari ini trauma dan fobia terhadap British sudah mati ditelan arus pembangunan. Tapi tamadun manusia tetap merosot sehingga berlaku pengangguran. Yang cerdik pandai itulah yang mengemis di jalanan. Bergelandangan.

Orang kata Melayu apa adanya? Aku tegas Melayu berjiwa waja. Molek bahasa serta pekertinya. Kalau berbahasa, sopannya ada. Kalau mengusik si dara, adabnya terjaga. Kalau berkasih, malu masih bersisa. Kalau berbohong, masih berpada-pada.

Tapi mereka kata Barat itu sempurna. Barat itu istimewa. Barat itu baru muda. Arak dan zina itulah merdeka. Aku menyangkal murka! Tidak cukup darah Melayu menghujani dunia. Kini budaya ibunda juga dipatah-patahkan bercerai sejuta.

Intai-intai ke luar jendela. Moga keturunanku tetap sejahtera dan terjaga. Moga benih bunga raya yang aku bajakan mekar memayungi dunia. Masa muda jadilah yang berguna dan berjasa. Kelak tua dikenang nama. Harum bangsa, harum negara.

Hari ini kita Satu Malaysia. Sebahagian daripada Asia. Barat itu cuma an extra. Praktikkan yang baik, keji yang buruk. Barulah muda! ;)

p/s: post macam orang tak sabar nak sambut merdeka ke-56 je kan. haha


ELFiction: Kimchi for Pilot (Choi Siwon)

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duhh! do you think the title is quite weird?? (-_-")

Siwon and you just get married. However, after the age of the marriage reached to seven days, Siwon went back to his duty as a pilot. He went there and there yet you were left alone in the house. It was damn frustrating.

You were sitting in the living room with a cup of hot tea on your right hand. The smell of the tea was very relaxing. However, you being depressed when you saw a plate of kimchi which was on the table in front of you. It was a first made by you.

You are not Korean but you married to Siwon who is a Korean and started a new life in Korea in name Mrs Choi. You knew nothing about Korean food except knowing the name some of it. Thus, you would like to learn to cook Korean food so that you could charm the husband’s heart.

Deep inside your heart, you miss Siwon very much. Seven days had a life as a wife to someone was not enough. You miss Siwon every night when noticed his place was empty and still the same when you wake up from your sleep. You miss him when there was no morning kiss from the beloved one or a warming hug from him. You miss him when you looked into the cupboard where there were his clothes. You miss him each day, each time. Your heart grew fonder.

You still remember clearly the moment on your first night, Siwon said,

“I’ll be your personal pilot. I’ll take you anywhere you want to go. Europe, Asia, even Arab. Anywhere, my love”

You smile and felt very happy. It was not because of what had he said but because you finally won in this love game. Plus, Siwon was your first love and hope to be the last. You believed that there was only one Siwon and not two or three. There was only him, Choi Si Won.

You replied to his, “Will you take me to your heart?” You putted your hand on his chest. You could feel the warmth of his body and the beat of his heart.

“You already stay in here” He hold your hand, let the heat of his palms trapped it and kissed you passionately.

The cup of hot tea that you hold already lost its heat, cold. This proved that you had been pensive for too long. You putted a smile on your face in the middle of depression. You realised that you really love this Korean guy. Your heart beats faster each time you think of Choi Siwon.

Suddenly, the phone rang broke the loneliness. It was a call from your beloved pilot. You quickly pressed the green button and answered the call excitedly. Even you just heard his voice last night before went to sleep, it felt like it had been too long to not hear his voice.

“Hello, dear!” You said cheerfully. But then, there was no voice of Siwon. “Hello. Hello. Siwon-ah” You started being worried.

“Hello my love, ___________” At last, Siwon’s voice was heard.

“Yah! Don’t play me this way” You pouted.

“Haha. How was it? Am I good in acting?”

“Wae? Do you want to be an actor and leave that shit job?”

Siwon giggled and said, “Mianhae. I know that I’m disappointing you”

“In that case, you should home now! I’m very lonely here” You cried.

“Arasseo. I’ll back home tomorrow”

“B-bwo? Jinjja? Finally! Okay, okay. You should have an enough rest, right? So let’s stop here”



“Say that you love me?” He asked.

“I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you, Choi Siwon! I love you! Mmuah” You kissed the phone.

“Wow! I’m sure I’m going to have a nice sleep than ever tonight” He praised.

“Arasseo. Take care, dear!” The phone was off.

You stand on the sofa and jumped excitedly with a loud scream. You could not wait the day of tomorrow to welcome the king back to his castle. Well, the queen was sick of waiting about four weeks long.

You were busy making choice what to wear tomorrow to welcome the husband when the phone rang out of blue after three hours you got a call from Siwon. For you, to be beautiful and neat were necessary. It was a call from Siwon again but this time a woman on the line.

“Hello, ____________-ssi”

“Yae. This is me?” You answered, curiously.

“Siwon-ssi. He…” The voice sound very anxious. “He had an accident”

“B-bwo?!” You were shocked. It felt like your heart going to out from the chest. The news was damn dreadful to you.

Without took a long time, you rushed to the hospital that was told by the woman by car. As soon as you arrived at the hospital, there was nothing in your mind other than to see your husband. You were told the ward number by a nurse and rushed to it. Outside of the ward, there was a lady with style as a steward standing against the wall. She looked pale and heartbroken.

“Excuse me” You approached her.


As soon as you heard the lady called your name, you were sure she was the one who called you just now. You entered the ward and saw a doctor and two nurses on the both sides of the bed where Siwon was placed.

“Siwon-ah” You quickly ran to Siwon.

There was blood all around the bed. Siwon was bleeding non-stopped. The whole body was trembling with pain. You were hurt to see him in that way. Till that, the tears started brimming.

“Isn’t it you’ll back home tomorrow? Wae? Why did you play me this way? Wae?” You said, in cry.

You kept crying while then, Siwon played his finger on your hand. He was writing something. He told you something that he wanted to tell you.

“Mianhae. I’m good in acting, right? I want to surprise you. But this seems too big. Mianhae. I could not take you along this time. I’m not a good pilot, right? Mianhae. Remember this. I love you” He smile to you.

Your tears brimmed a lot. This was too much for you. You just met someone that you love and love you back for the first time. Plus, you just married to him. And yet god challenged you with his pain.

After awhile, Siwon met his last breath. Your tears ran out vigorously like falling snow on the first day of winter. It was cold and quiet. However, you still could feel the warmth of Siwon’s dead body. It was unbelievable your first love ended in that way. It was like a punishment for you.

You tried to remember the first time you met him and it was also a dreadful meeting. Siwon was the pilot of an aeroplane which you took your flight to Sedney for  holiday. Unfortunately, the flight got in trouble and the aeroplane crashed during the emergency landing. Many people were injured and some were dead. You were one of them who was injured. You lost lot of blood. And there Siwon came to donate some of his blood for you to show his sympathy.

At his burial, you brought kimchi that you made and placed it at the grave.  You sat beside the gravestone and cried as much as you want. It was not because you could not accept the gone but it was because you miss him too much more than usual. And it was damn so torturing.

*** THE END ***

There's nothing last forever. Just let's  make it till the last breath. It is worthy :)



why no one told me that i put wrong links for my Novel Pendek : Lutsinaran ? hiks. i just corrected it. you're invited to read it. =) -01/07/2020-