Honey Bunny

Assalamualaikum...

Hello, peeps! How're you doing today?

The weather is hot at my place. ugh!

I've been counting days waiting for rain lol.

Today I would like to share about a bunny. No. Not that furball with long ears bunny. This bunny is a human. My favorite person. Honey Bunny is one of nicknames that I give him. Sometimes, I named him Gucci Guy too. But I think I favor Honey Bunny better haha. About this favorite person of mine, if you still don't get the hint, I'll make it straight for you. He is a celebrity. A singer. An actor. A public figure. So obviously this post may turn out as something toxic for some of you. If you think and feel so, I encourage you to stop reading now. Don't take poison just because it is given to you.

Not sure where to begin but I choose to start it with my worst life moment. 2019 was the worst year I had if I don't remember it wrong. Everything in my world crumbled into sharp and dusty pieces that left me in all blank and void. The loneliness was not something to do with space, time, or people. It was something that engulfed and possessed my thin skin to my thick bone, from mind all the way to my soul, that I seemed forgot how to live anymore. Death was my daily mantra, my pursue, my emotion. However, in the middle of this suffocating and killing fog, I saw a glimpse of figure with bright smile and strong personality. And the tale of bunny started.

Like some other human, appearance was what reached the eyes first. He was handsome. Have I mention it? He had bright smile. And this happened only by meeting his eyes while me facing my laptop screen. He played a male lead character in this one drama that I had watched in repeat that time while waiting for the next episode. I still rewatching again and again anyway lol. From just admiring a fiction character, a handsome face with bright smile, I started exploring the internet, looking for him. His name, his previous works, his past, his hobby, his personality, his attitude, any data that I happened to stumble on in this giant network. The good thing was I happened never stumbled on anything bad or controversial about him. Well, it wasn't my purpose too.

Day to day, month to month, even though I still couldn't looked away from crumbles of my life, he made me took some glances at him too. His handsome look. His bright smile. His laugh. I started to grow attach to this known unknown human. Bit by bit, he made me smile and I could feel love was still there, lingered and tingled around and inside my soul. By that time, which actually I don't remember specifically, he had became my favorite person. Just like how I admired Super Junior. People that fake themselves in front of camera, or that was what others said, but that is not how my perspective works. Just like us with multiple identities, so do them. I called it professional and realistic.

Days and months passed. 2019 ended. 2020 begun. I still favor this person. I am no more pay all my attention only to that handsome face of his. I even saved some no make up selfies of him. I enjoyed some silly moments he had himself. I admitted his lack as well as his nature as human. It may sounds pretentious but I don't use term "fan" easily. Not everyone can relate to this term and activity. Besides, I love it more to mention that "this is my favorite person". Favorite is a soft and fluffy word to me. Naive yet adorable. Yes, I love anything that is blessed with fluff lol. I proudly rant and brag around my socmed, that this is my favorite person. My honey bunny.

First time celebrating his birthday. First time celebrating end of year with him. First time starting a new year with him. And then all these good moments were followed with, first time watching him being pull out and push down with insults and slanders from a very huge amount of human. My favorite person, my honey bunny, had been caught in a massive murderous storm. His road was blocked. His sky was tainted. His soul was hurt. The moment I realized this matter, I had flashback of my want-to-forget-yet-unforgettable 2019. No matter he know it or not, this person had made my foggy and grey road a little bit brighter. This star I picked, had made my dim starlight accompanied by his. Now, it is my turn.

The massive storm had grew bigger and greater. It wasn't considered as work of haters anymore. It was violent. Threat. Bully. Even though I wanted to scold and yell to those parasites, I knew it was impossible and won't do any good, most importantly to myself. From reporting and blocking haters silently, I realized this wasn't good for my mental and physical. I am an ill person. I know my limit. This is toxic. Poison. Then, what can I do to help? I love. I enjoyed watching fans sharing his photos and video clips, leaved some kind comments if I felt like too, joined some fun voting poll, spreading the fandom name and support wherever I meant to. Yes, I didn't force myself. Just did it casually like I used to previously. Yet, my heart grew fonder, my love grew stronger.

Experiencing this pandemic moment, of course I won't got any news about him excepted that he secretly donated medical tools for the frontliners and their patients. It was disclosed by the receiver. Later, his country had back to open for daily routine and operation yet there was still no glimpse of him on camera neither from the industry nor fans. But I heard him. We heard him. He released a good song that he wrote it himself. The song was far than depressing but encouraging. Surprisingly, he made a few lines in english. It could be my only fantasy but it felt like he spoke to us, international fans. The song hit on top for music charts even now. However, right now, the storm is still going on but it gets a little calmer and he already started his defense through law.

What instigates me to write this long long long tale about my honey bunny today is what I had saw a few days ago and today. It's him! It's him! He made an appearance on camera! A one-to-one interview with him regarding this big matter. Not through phone or some kind auditory method, not even through real-time video call, but he was there, actually there, holding mic and made his responses calmly. The look in his eyes were all serious. That handsome face wasn't being playful. That bright smile appeared sometimes but it seemed there were sighs to it. This man is hurting. This man is growing himself better. This man is standing by his feet not because of others but himself. I didn't only watched him as celebrity here but also as a victim of cyber bully and violence. He is a human with tainted names and titles  people give him but he is still himself. Have I mention it? He has strong personality. He is soft. Looks kind. Sometimes can be adorably clumsy. Yet he is strong.

Oh! In case you wonder why I don't mention his name, I just mean to make it so. I think people don't really need names to know someone. Name makes us remember someone easily. But does it helps us to understand someone easily? For me, no. Even I, myself had limited access of understanding him. I judge what I feel like to judge. I love what I feel like to love. I write what I feel like to write. Above of all, I'm sharing thoughts and loves in my own way. People may resist and insist. So do I.

Final sharing. Being fan is not some kind of cliche high school drama with prince-like main male/female lead character. It is real so be real. Have your life. Keep your personality. Your love won't change the true nature of your idol as human being. You may learn from them but don't expect them to teach you. You may look up to them but don't expect them to fulfill your needs. Avoid from fighting or hurting anyone. Support and embrace each other often. We're all made to love.

Until here, ohmaigod !!!! did you really get it done !?!!

Thank you for your time and concern.

Thank you for reading it this far.

Cannot repay or ask more sobs sobs.

May you and your loved ones continue loving each other.

See you in the later post. Bye bye. xoxo =)

We are all stars that brighten each other starlight a little better for the better.