Septembruh

Assalamualaikum...

Hello, friends and readers! Hello, septembruh! And Happy Malaysia Day! Well, there is nothing strange when it comes to me being monthly late comer haha. So yeah it's my september first post. How're you doing, people? How's your september? Good? Nah? Wanna know mine? Come, come closer hehe.

My september started with a hashtag. #SuicidePreventionMonth. Yes! September is Suicide Prevention's Month. Just like usual, I shared posts and infos on my socmed. Nag and brag about mental illness. Spreading wings of my heart and fly the love whenever and wherever I want and could. It's good and nice to have certain day or month for particular event to spread awareness, kindness, and love. However, it's much better and nicer when it's celebrated daily. Yes. Eveyday is Suicide Prevention's Day. Everyday.

A few days later since 1st september, a parcel arrived. Hooray! The lomocards I ordered was received. It was a set of 120pcs. And it was my first time order ever. I had youtube-free because of struggling to collect 120pcs photos to be printed. I experienced a 1 month pinterest obsession lol. Never crossed in my mind that to collect 120pcs photos was that difficult despite me had bunches of photo collection. The only reason was, it was extremely difficult to pick best of best photos hoho. Ayway, the photos appeared super gorgeous on the cards and I have them stained my room wall hehe.

Hmm did I ever mention about my new recent routine? Yeah, of course not haha. Around the middle of August, I started do jogging once in every two days. Well, sometimes three because I was too lazy to wake up in the morning hahahaha. I'm not a morning person anyway. This thing was actually instigated by my anxiety, thinking what if I have diabetes or some kind of nerves disease to the point I was about to bawl my eyes because of the panic for about maybe 2 weeks. And during the latest doctor's appointment I had, I was 2kg lighter. What!? That was too many in almost one month. Anyway, idgaf about weight in the first place. And I'm not a sport person haha.

Hey, I have a good news or maybe so. My best friend is about to get marry. The plan is on 5th October. Honestly, this news is somewhat like a blackout for me. It may sounds bad but I can't be happy for it. And also, I don't hate it. I had the same mixed feeling when she got engaged last year. I'm triggered. My anxiety is triggered. That fear. That loneliness. That struggle of reasoning myself. That fight between emotional and rational me. I feel dejected. Distant. She's nothing like usual best friend for me. She's an ideal figure. Something I can't get and feel from anyone. Named any terms in human relationship, for me between us there is something more. Book has it love-friend or sister figure. Anyway, I treasure her more than myself. And all this, she knows everything and she still remains as that ideal figure. I'm deciding to prepare her sejadah as a gift. Still searching for the right one.

Now, what's more to share? Oh! The creative side of my brain worked too well in this first few weeks. I made a few diy things and I like them. But it did hit my doubt. I was too active as if I can't wait for tommorow to make another diy thing. Even though I didn't skip my sleep, I did feeling something wasn't right. So far there were two days which I can't do my jogging at good pace. During the first one, I felt my body was too heavy to run with and the second was yesterday, I went faster and kinda too fast for me that I ended panting like the first day I started jogging. Something went wrong. Both, I had somewhat tired body the whole day.

Meanwhile today, so far the highlight is I'm super nervous because I just joined a dropshipping team. This is my first time. I have questions but I'm not sure how should I ask. Rather than awkward, I feel tensed. Dammit. I know some of you guys are good at this thing. Pray for me ya. Maybe I will update about this in another post later. Get ready yourselves to support me hehe.

Until here, I end this messy yet honest septembruh post lol. Thank you for your time and concern reading this. See you in later post! Take care. Love ya =)

Over everything, nothing is all mine.