Trained Brain

Bismillah. Assalamualaikum...

Hello, readers! It's me again. Tonight I would like to share with some of my deep thoughts and this one is related to brain. Actually, I had shared a small piece of this thought on my socmed. But I thought to make it longer. Well, what a blog without long writing. Even so, I hope this one won't be too long.

Have you ever tried memorizing text or phrases or sentences, anything similar? I know. The question is silly. Of course, everyone does memorizing and not just words. How did we do memorizing? Yes, we repeated certain input in our mind. Now I'm reminded to gold old days. It was insane that I had passed many papers during school, shoved chapters of hundred pages into my little brain. bruh

Had this thought, I came to realize that our brain can be trained. I remember a moment back to my degree days, my roommate had a practical test for bacaan dalam solat. She told me that her lecturer corrected her bacaan tahiyat akhir. Turned out she had memorized and practiced it wrong since when, even she couldn't remember. Her brain had been trained to memorize incorrect input but the brain didn't know the fact that the input was incorrect. Hence, it validated the input as true and she believed her practice.

Our brain can be trained. However, it lacks to differentiate the actual true and false input. Unless, unlearning former input and learning new input happens. The lecturer corrected bacaan tahiyat akhir my roommate is a process of unlearning former input and learning new input. By receiving and repeating new input, brain will validate it as true and this reflects as belief to the person. My roommate finally read tahiyat akhir correctly.

Now, I'll get you to a darker side. Just a little bit. Insecurity is common for human because we have desire to feel safe. But how about insecurity that feeds on self trust and love? Why does she hate herself? Why does he look down on himself? Why do I struggle to appreciate myself? To find answers to these questions, it should be asked in different way. Instead of "why", it should begins with "what". What makes us believe what we believe? What input that has been repeated to our brain? Yes. I have the answers to myself. Your turn.

As a person with childhood trauma, experiencing same intense stress and tension for years, was told with the same thing over and over again, I came to understand why I am the way I am today. The way I listen, look, and speak to myself. The way I think and feel. Of course, other life experiences that came in my way growing up also affected and built my personality. When this matter came to my realization, I knew I must continue training my brain to unlearn former false inputs and learn better inputs. Filling the unmet needs of my inner child.

Unlearning is a great deal for me. Unlearning inputs as old as half of my age is not a one night job. Unlearning is a continuous process. It spends on time, space, and energy. It is mind and nerves challenging. It tries patience to the point of causing distress every time. Yet, treating wounds is never painless. That's just how it is. I must train my brain the way I deserve. Together with heart, it keeps me alive. I should save some gratitude for it.

Bruhh it's a long post! haha

Watch your words. You don't know how long it will stay in someone's mind.