Muda

Aku menyaksikan fenomena kehidupan ini. Ketawa riang muda mereka mengilai sampai ke langit petang yang murni. Mereka saling bercanda seolah-olah muda itu abadi.

Mereka dalam dunia mereka. Dunia yang serba muda dan ceria. Aku pula cuma menikmati dunia mudaku yang telah usang dimamah usia tua. Dunia yang penuh jerih duka lara.

Pernah dahulu muncung senapang British mengena tepat pada dahi luasku. Tapi umurku panjang apabila sahabatku sanggup bertukar bangku. Berbelas das tembakan mengena pada tubuhnya bagai ayam jantan disumpit pemburu. Aku kelu. Pilu.

Dahulu ketawa itu umpama perbuatan yang haram. Sebaliknya, esakan tangisan menjadi teman yang paling akrab siang dan malam. Pesan ibu jangan banyak ragam. Aku faham. Tapi British tetap datang membaham ibu setiap malam. Ibu mati di atas tilam. Duniaku suram.

Hari ini trauma dan fobia terhadap British sudah mati ditelan arus pembangunan. Tapi tamadun manusia tetap merosot sehingga berlaku pengangguran. Yang cerdik pandai itulah yang mengemis di jalanan. Bergelandangan.

Orang kata Melayu apa adanya? Aku tegas Melayu berjiwa waja. Molek bahasa serta pekertinya. Kalau berbahasa, sopannya ada. Kalau mengusik si dara, adabnya terjaga. Kalau berkasih, malu masih bersisa. Kalau berbohong, masih berpada-pada.

Tapi mereka kata Barat itu sempurna. Barat itu istimewa. Barat itu baru muda. Arak dan zina itulah merdeka. Aku menyangkal murka! Tidak cukup darah Melayu menghujani dunia. Kini budaya ibunda juga dipatah-patahkan bercerai sejuta.

Intai-intai ke luar jendela. Moga keturunanku tetap sejahtera dan terjaga. Moga benih bunga raya yang aku bajakan mekar memayungi dunia. Masa muda jadilah yang berguna dan berjasa. Kelak tua dikenang nama. Harum bangsa, harum negara.

Hari ini kita Satu Malaysia. Sebahagian daripada Asia. Barat itu cuma an extra. Praktikkan yang baik, keji yang buruk. Barulah muda! ;)

p/s: post macam orang tak sabar nak sambut merdeka ke-56 je kan. haha

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ELFiction: Kimchi for Pilot (Choi Siwon)

duhh! do you think the title is quite weird?? (-_-")

Siwon and you just get married. However, after the age of the marriage reached to seven days, Siwon went back to his duty as a pilot. He went there and there yet you were left alone in the house. It was damn frustrating.

You were sitting in the living room with a cup of hot tea on your right hand. The smell of the tea was very relaxing. However, you being depressed when you saw a plate of kimchi which was on the table in front of you. It was a first made by you.

You are not Korean but you married to Siwon who is a Korean and started a new life in Korea in name Mrs Choi. You knew nothing about Korean food except knowing the name some of it. Thus, you would like to learn to cook Korean food so that you could charm the husband’s heart.

Deep inside your heart, you miss Siwon very much. Seven days had a life as a wife to someone was not enough. You miss Siwon every night when noticed his place was empty and still the same when you wake up from your sleep. You miss him when there was no morning kiss from the beloved one or a warming hug from him. You miss him when you looked into the cupboard where there were his clothes. You miss him each day, each time. Your heart grew fonder.

You still remember clearly the moment on your first night, Siwon said,

“I’ll be your personal pilot. I’ll take you anywhere you want to go. Europe, Asia, even Arab. Anywhere, my love”

You smile and felt very happy. It was not because of what had he said but because you finally won in this love game. Plus, Siwon was your first love and hope to be the last. You believed that there was only one Siwon and not two or three. There was only him, Choi Si Won.

You replied to his, “Will you take me to your heart?” You putted your hand on his chest. You could feel the warmth of his body and the beat of his heart.

“You already stay in here” He hold your hand, let the heat of his palms trapped it and kissed you passionately.

The cup of hot tea that you hold already lost its heat, cold. This proved that you had been pensive for too long. You putted a smile on your face in the middle of depression. You realised that you really love this Korean guy. Your heart beats faster each time you think of Choi Siwon.

Suddenly, the phone rang broke the loneliness. It was a call from your beloved pilot. You quickly pressed the green button and answered the call excitedly. Even you just heard his voice last night before went to sleep, it felt like it had been too long to not hear his voice.

“Hello, dear!” You said cheerfully. But then, there was no voice of Siwon. “Hello. Hello. Siwon-ah” You started being worried.

“Hello my love, ___________” At last, Siwon’s voice was heard.

“Yah! Don’t play me this way” You pouted.

“Haha. How was it? Am I good in acting?”

“Wae? Do you want to be an actor and leave that shit job?”

Siwon giggled and said, “Mianhae. I know that I’m disappointing you”

“In that case, you should home now! I’m very lonely here” You cried.

“Arasseo. I’ll back home tomorrow”

“B-bwo? Jinjja? Finally! Okay, okay. You should have an enough rest, right? So let’s stop here”

“W-wait”

“Yae”

“Say that you love me?” He asked.

“I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you, Choi Siwon! I love you! Mmuah” You kissed the phone.

“Wow! I’m sure I’m going to have a nice sleep than ever tonight” He praised.

“Arasseo. Take care, dear!” The phone was off.

You stand on the sofa and jumped excitedly with a loud scream. You could not wait the day of tomorrow to welcome the king back to his castle. Well, the queen was sick of waiting about four weeks long.

You were busy making choice what to wear tomorrow to welcome the husband when the phone rang out of blue after three hours you got a call from Siwon. For you, to be beautiful and neat were necessary. It was a call from Siwon again but this time a woman on the line.

“Hello, ____________-ssi”

“Yae. This is me?” You answered, curiously.

“Siwon-ssi. He…” The voice sound very anxious. “He had an accident”

“B-bwo?!” You were shocked. It felt like your heart going to out from the chest. The news was damn dreadful to you.

Without took a long time, you rushed to the hospital that was told by the woman by car. As soon as you arrived at the hospital, there was nothing in your mind other than to see your husband. You were told the ward number by a nurse and rushed to it. Outside of the ward, there was a lady with style as a steward standing against the wall. She looked pale and heartbroken.

“Excuse me” You approached her.

“_______________-ssi?”

As soon as you heard the lady called your name, you were sure she was the one who called you just now. You entered the ward and saw a doctor and two nurses on the both sides of the bed where Siwon was placed.

“Siwon-ah” You quickly ran to Siwon.

There was blood all around the bed. Siwon was bleeding non-stopped. The whole body was trembling with pain. You were hurt to see him in that way. Till that, the tears started brimming.

“Isn’t it you’ll back home tomorrow? Wae? Why did you play me this way? Wae?” You said, in cry.

You kept crying while then, Siwon played his finger on your hand. He was writing something. He told you something that he wanted to tell you.

“Mianhae. I’m good in acting, right? I want to surprise you. But this seems too big. Mianhae. I could not take you along this time. I’m not a good pilot, right? Mianhae. Remember this. I love you” He smile to you.

Your tears brimmed a lot. This was too much for you. You just met someone that you love and love you back for the first time. Plus, you just married to him. And yet god challenged you with his pain.

After awhile, Siwon met his last breath. Your tears ran out vigorously like falling snow on the first day of winter. It was cold and quiet. However, you still could feel the warmth of Siwon’s dead body. It was unbelievable your first love ended in that way. It was like a punishment for you.

You tried to remember the first time you met him and it was also a dreadful meeting. Siwon was the pilot of an aeroplane which you took your flight to Sedney for  holiday. Unfortunately, the flight got in trouble and the aeroplane crashed during the emergency landing. Many people were injured and some were dead. You were one of them who was injured. You lost lot of blood. And there Siwon came to donate some of his blood for you to show his sympathy.

At his burial, you brought kimchi that you made and placed it at the grave.  You sat beside the gravestone and cried as much as you want. It was not because you could not accept the gone but it was because you miss him too much more than usual. And it was damn so torturing.

*** THE END ***

There's nothing last forever. Just let's  make it till the last breath. It is worthy :)

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Saya Mengidamlah Awak..

Assalamualaikum
Hai, geng!
Kyaa! Tengok tu!
Sedap kann nangka masak cili api. Eee geram dibuatnya!
Membuak-buak nafsu ni ha.
Etceli, Farahin dah berminggu berangan nak makan lauk nangka cili api ni.
Kiranya mengidamlah jugak.
Dah macam orang berbadan dua pulak.
Eh! No no no.
I'm single oke. Status single, body pun single.
Argh! Tak tahan bila view img nangka masak cili api kat Google-ssi.
Tak alih-alih basah je baju. Air liur menjejeh. Oh! Tipu je tu.
Tapi betullah. Rasa macam tengok kekasih cinta pertama.
Tak tahanlah awak! Amboi! Gediklah pulak gayanya. Haha.
Sobsob.
Sesape tu yang rajin ke dapur,
baklah sepinggan kalau boleh sekuali nangka masak cili api ni ha.
Farahin dah mengidam dua minggu sebelum cuti raya lagi tau.
Huuu rasa nak menangis je.
Bilalah dapat mencekik nangka masak cili api nih.
Onesli, ni first time Farahin mengada-ngada mengidam bagai.
Entah penyakit keturunan mana entah.
Tak pun jangkit dengan member yang dah terbiasa ngidam itu ini.
Huaaaa! Ya Allah!
Minta hantarlah lauk nangka masak cili api kepada hamba!
Kempunan gilos mabelos nih. Hukhuk.
Ni asyik terasa je pedas dan lemaknya kuah cili api kat tekak nih.
Kena pulak dengan nangka yang lembut-lembut tuh.
Ah! Kebabooom!

Tsk. Saya Mengidamlah Awak..

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Khutbah Terakhir Rasulullah

Sedih, Ramadhan hendak pergi. Bermulalah peperangan manusia dan syaitan nanti.

Assalamualaikum..

Last Saturday, Farahin pergi shopping dengan mak. Ada pergi sebuah supermarket and nampak sebuah frame yang bergambarkan khutbah terakhir Rasulullah.  Farahin baca. Then hari ini teringat nak share kepada korang. Untuk iktibar bersama. Farahin masih ingat kandungannya sikit-sikit. So try lah search. Alhamdulillah. Jumpa pun. Jom baca!

"Wahai manusia, dengarlah baik-baik apa yang hendak kukatakan, Aku tidak mengetahui apakah aku dapat bertemu lagi dengan kamu semua selepas tahun ini. Oleh itu dengarlah dengan telti kata-kataku ini dan sampaikanlah ia kepada orang-orang yang tidak dapat hadir disini pada hari ini.

Wahai manusia, sepertimana kamu menganggap bulan ini dan Kota ini sebagai suci, maka anggaplah jiwa dan harta setiap orang Muslim sebagai amanah suci.Kembalikan harta yang diamanahkan kepada kamu kepada pemiliknya yang berhak.Janganlah kamu sakiti sesiapapun agar orang lain tidak menyakiti kami lagi. Ingatlah bahawa sesungguhnya, kamu akan menemui Tuhan kamu dan Dia pasti membuat perhitungan diatas segala amalan kamu. Allah telah mengharamkan riba, oleh itu segala urusan yang melibatkan riba dibatalkan sekarang.

Berwaspadalah terhadap syaitan demi keselamatan agama kamu. Dia telah berputus asa untuk menyesatkan kamu dalam perkara-perkara besar, maka berjaga-jagalah supaya kamu tidak mengikuti dalam perkara-perkara kecil.

Wahai Manusia Sebagaimana kamu mempunyai hak atas isteri kamu mereka juga mempunyai hak di atas kamu. Sekiranya mereka menyempurnakan hak mereka keatas kamu, maka mereka, juga berhak untuk diberi makan dan pakaian dalam Susana kasih sayang. Layanilah wanita-wanita kamu dengan baik dan berlemah-lembutlah terhadap mereka kerana sesungguhnya mereka adalah teman dan pembantu kamu yang setia. Dan hak kamu atas mereka ialah mereka sama sekali tidak boleh memasukkan orang yang kamu tidak sukai kedalam rumah kamu dan dilarang melakukan zina.

Wahai Manusia, dengarlah bersungguh-sungguh kata-kataku ini, sembahlah Allah, dirikanlah sembahyang lima kali sehari, berpuasalah di bulan Ramadhan, dan tunaikankanlah zakat dari harta kekayaan kamu. Kerjakanlah Ibadah Haji sekiranya kamu mampu. Ketahui bahawa setiap Muslim adalah saudara kepada Muslim yang lain. Kamu semua adalah sama; tidak seorang pun yang lebih mulia dari yang lainnya kecuali dalam Taqwa dan beramal saleh.

Ingatlah, bahawa, kamu akan menghadap Allah pada suatu hari untuk dipertanggung jawabkan diatas segala apa yang telah kamu kerjakan. Oleh itu , Awasilah agar jangan sekali-kali kamu terkeluar dari landasan kebenaran selepas ketiadaaku.

Wahai Manusia, tidak ada lagi Nabi atau Rasul yang akan datang selepasku dan tidak akan ada lain agama baru. Oleh itu wahai manusia, nilailah dengan betul dan fahamilah kata-kataku yang telah aku sampaikan kepada kamu. Sesungguhnya aku tinggalkan kepada kamu dua perkara yang sekiranya kamu berpegang teguh dan mengikuti kedua-duanya, necaya kamu tidak akan tersesat selama-lamanya. Itulah ALQURAN dan SUNNAHKU.

Hendaklah orang-orang yang mendengar ucapanku, menyampaikan pula kepada orang lain. Semoga yang terakhir lebih memahami kata-kataku dari mereka yang terus mendengar dariku. Saksikanlah Ya Allah, bahawasanya telah aku sampaikan risalahMu kepada hamba-hambaMU."

Source 

Di kesempatan ini, suka Farahin nak luahkan kesedihan Farahin terhadap saudara Islam kita yang kini saling bermusuhan. Dalam bulan Ramadhan pun, mereka saling mencederakan, saling membenci. Tambahan, mereka kaum yang berdarah arab sama seperti Rasulullah. Sedih melihat keadaan mereka. Mereka solat, mereka mengaji dan mengerti Al-Quran tapi semuanya macam sia-sia. Bukankah Al-Quran panduan kepada kehidupan? Politik, ekonomi, agama, bangsa, segalanya terkandung dalam kitab suci Al-Quran. Bukankah antara cara Ahli Sunnah Wa Jamaah menyelesaikan masalah menerusi rujukan terhadap Al-Quran? Ya Allah. Bagaimanakah saudara Islam kita ini boleh berkelakuan seolah-olah mereka tiada mengerti bahasa Rasulullah, bahasa Al-Quran?? Apapun, correct me if I'm wrong.

Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir dan Batin :)

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ELFiction: 193 Love (Kim Hee Chul)

There were waves in circle shape each time you threw the pebbles into the water. You stared at it with an empty mind. You still can hear vividly the voices which used to insult you and make you depress on yourself. 

“Hey! I’m so impressed with your tummy!” 

“Oh, god! Have you lost your weight? You should eat more!” 

“Wow! You look perfect with that ‘ball’!” 

Those words always hurt you most. You never thought that your fat body would be very ‘attractive’ to them. It was unexpected.

You kept throwing the pebbles into the water and watched the waves formed and disappeared after awhile. Suddenly, someone hugged you from back. He putted his arms around your neck. That person was no other than Kim Heechul.

“Sarang-yah! What’re you doing here?” He cheered.

“Stop calling me that. I’m not your girlfriend not today even in the future”

“Aishh. You make that face again. Wae? Someone bullied you?”

“Correction. Not someone. But everyone” You pouted.

“Ahh. Look like I have been forget again” He sighed.

“Bwo?”

“Correction. Not everyone. I’m the only exception.” Heechul copied your words. You smile.

It was true. In this case, Heechul was the only exception. He never looked at you as a monster to scare of or as a toy to play with. He was the only guy, the only friend that accepted you as who the real you. He never disgusted on you. Otherwise, you the one who felt disgusted on him for kept clinging on you like a boyfriend. If just that could be happen. Unfortunately, it was damn impossible. Thus, you quietly crushed on him.

“Do you bring anything for me?”

“Yes, boss! I brought you this. Tadaa!” He showed you a bar of chocolate.

“Wow! Chocolate!” You tried to grab it from his hand but Heechul quickly brought it away.

“Let me feed you”

“Bwo?! No!” You tried to grab the chocolate again but failed.

“No chocolate without me” Heechul warned you.

“Pfft! Arasseo” You pouted.

Heechul broke the chocolate to a small part and tried to feed it to your mouth. You opened your mouth and yet you roughly grabbed the chocolate bar from his hand. At last, the chocolate was yours. You stick out your tongue to him and ran away. Even it was hard to run with your fat body, you forced to do it.

“Yah! __________” Heechul shouted.

“You should bring me more tomorrow!” You shouted from far and straight away went home.

In your way home, you finished the chocolate till there was nothing left. Then, as usual, you kept the wrapper in a pocket at your school bag. There were many wrappers of sweets and chocolates in that pocket. All of them were from chocolates and sweets that given by Heechul.

Heechul was walking with a beautiful, slim and tall girl by holding hands at the corridor. Their friendly relationship was eye-catching to the others. You even shocked to see it. You never knew that Heechul had girlfriend even he never told you about it. Your heart was broken too see your crush went with someone else but at the same time, you felt happy for them. They looked good together.

“Hey, fat girl! How’s that? You should know where you stand at. Kim Heechul is not all yours anymore” A girl insinuated you while the others laughed at you.

“Go get your snack, pufferfish!” Other girl pushed you till you fall onto the floor and the laugh got louder.

In pain and shame, you looked at Heechul showed sign asked for help but he went with the girl and ignored you. You thought he might didn’t saw you even he being so closed to you on that time. However, deep inside your heart, it was damn hurtful.

At the same place, same time, you sat at the lake side and did the same thing, throwing pebbles. But this time, your tears accompanied you. Your cheeks and nose turned red because of cried a lot. You felt like the world really hate you. Plus, someone that used to love you even only as a friend went with other girl who was more beautiful, slimmer and taller than you. You thought there was nothing good about yourself.

“Why this happen to me? Why? Is it wrong to be fat? It’s my body! It’s up to me! Aratji!” You shouted out loud.

“Can I join?” Heechul appeared at your back out of blue. 

You turned your face and stared at him like a wild cat. You apparently hate this guy.

“Listen this” He whispered.

“___________! Fat girl! 153cm height! 60 80 70!”

“Yah! What did you say?” You felt mad hearing his words.

“Shhh. It’s not done yet” He cut your words. “193kg weigh! __________! Sa-rang-hae!”

You were freaking shocked to hear the last thing he said. Was it a joke or there was something wrong with your ears? Saranghae? Was that what you heard?

“Fuhh!” Heechul sighed, relieved. “How is it?”

“Are you crazy? There’s nothing fun about it! Shit punk!” You grabbed your school bag on the ground and went leave.

“It’s not a joke.”

“Then, what?” You stopped.

“I love you. I’m serious. I love you, _________” Heechul said with a serious tone. “I brought this as usual. If you love me, come and grab this like how you used to do” He took out a bar of chocolate.

It was impossible. Even if Heechul love you, and you love him too, you realized that you were not match to each other. The different is too big. You wished you have the answer. So you brought a step forward with no idea what were you doing.

“Don’t go. Please. Think about it properly” Heechul pleaded.

What I’m doing now? This is what I’m waiting for. Am I? This is what I’m dreaming of. This, I should grab it like how I used to grab the chocolate from Heechul.

You turned your back and faced Heechul. Heechul went to you with a bar of chocolate. You looked at the chocolate with no passion. Not as usual. It seemed like nothing to you.

“Tell me something about that girl”

“She’s no one”

You took your breath deeply. Then, you roughly grabbed the chocolate from Heechul’s hand and automatically the tears started brimming. Heechul gave a bright smile and brought you in his hug.

“I’m not beautiful”

“You’re beautiful than other girls in this world”

“Saranghae, Kim Heechul” You looked up to his face with your wet face.

“Sarang-yah” Heechul gently kissed you.

For the first time, you felt there was still a place for you in this world. That place was no other than in Heechul’s heart.

------THE END------

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