False Expectation

Assalamualaikum...

Hello, readers! How're you today?

Fuh fuh tiup sikit blog ni.

Dah lama sangat, dah jarang sangat buka blog

sejak balik dari kampus and now I'm on my deferment period.

Ngam je dengan Movement Restricted Operation and Covid-19 sekarang.

Well, stay at home has been always my best hobby lol.

Okey. Let's go straight to the written title. False expectation. Apa korang fikirkan bila baca tajuk ni? It's okay if there is nothing going on in your mind right now. Let's go through this post word by word. Maybe, paragraph by paragraph? Are you ready?

Have you ever received any compliment? It may sounds like, "You're pretty", "You're a clever person", "You're very hardworking", and something similar to those. Ada sesiapa yang tak suka dipuji ke? I believe sesiapa pun mesti suka. Termasuklah yang down to earth type. Tapi, have you, pernah tak, ada masanya korang rasa tertekan, terkilan, dengan pujian yang diberikan?

Based on my personal experience and perspective, one of the causes kita kerap rasa tertekan, bimbang, dan mungkin hampir jatuh ke lembah kemurungan adalah kerana misconception, tersalah sangka dan kefahaman, terhadap pujian itu sendiri. Ask ourselves, pernah ke kita tak terfikir yang "orang kata(puji) aku macam ni" jadi "aku mesti macam ni dan jadi macam ni"?

Okey. Here is the twist. Don't confuse compliment as expectation. Compliment is not expectation. Compliment is another language or act of love. Compliment is not request to be fulfilled but gift to be appreciated. Not debt to be paid too. Compliment doesn't define who you are. Who we are. Compliment is an example of good judgement from a person to a person. Compliment is not expectation.

Misconception. Salah faham. Salah anggap. I experience this misconception too. This misconception may causes us to doubt ourselves. Fear of to not meeting those compliments that are given to us. As if they are debts to be paid. Until then, we exhaust our energy more than we have to fulfill this False Expectation we create for ourselves.

Actually, it's all matters of perspective. Bukannya look at the bright side. Not toxic positivity. Not denying negativity. Tapi lihat sesuatu dari sudut atau perspektif yang berbeza. Positif dan tidak(mungkin kurang) membinasakan. Negatif dan dipelajari untuk diolah, diuli, dibentuk menjadi sesuatu yang lebih baik.

I think circle is my most favorite shape. Mungkin ada kaitannya juga dengan how I love cute things. Even bubbles lol. But something uniques about circle is, ianya kelihatan seperti tiada sudut. Tetapi hakikatnya juga, ianya melingkungi sudut 360 darjah. Bayangkan kita berada di dalam sebuah bulatan. Berdirilah di mana-mana lingkungan bulatan itu, adakah mungkin kita tetap melihat sesuatu itu sama semuanya?

Apapun, tak kira apa dan bagaimana kita menerima dan menganggap pujian yang diberikan kepada kita, suka Farahin nak kongsikan peringatan ini, untuk diri Farahin dan semua yang membaca, it's okay, tidak apa kalau kita tidak memenuhi pujian-pujian yang diberikan. Jangan susahkan diri. Sakitkan diri. Musnahkan diri.

Ulangan, pujian bukan pengharapan. Bukan beban. Bukan tanggungjawab. Bukan hutang. Pujian adalah hadiah tanda sayang dan menghargai. Pujian adalah perspektif baik orang lain terhadap kita. Bukannya perspektif kita terhadap diri kita. Ianya lebih wajar disyukuri daripada digendung separuh mati.

You know what? I love this good part of my brain. Mind twister. It's both tricky and fun. It makes me feel connected to myself. My inside and outside. However, what I've been noticed almost this one year as mental illness patient is my brain won't play this game when it's unhealthy. So I'm glad to share, I'm in good condition as I'm writing this hehe. For me. For you. For us.

Until here, I end this post.

Thank you for spending your time

reading my long nags and brags.

See you in next post.

xoxo =)

There is nothing called look at the bright side
but better self-benefit perspective.