Success

Assalamualaikum...

Hello, readers! I'm writing this nervously. My left wrist is still in pain and I'm trying to write using my right hand only. Really want to make it because I really want to write down my brain mess here. Success. Recently, maybe a few days ago, I had noticed something about Azan. From my own personal perspective.

I don't watch tv often for so long and no mention the screen that i always face is my phone, but as far as I remember, the cliche content when Azan was played on tv, at this phrase, haiya a'lassolah haiya a'lalfalah, something remarkable content was played. First, haiya a'lassolah, usually there were content with jemaah or at least a person who was performing solah. Second, haiya a'lalfalah, here we might saw a group of somewhat corporate people or basically just titled as "successful people."

Referring to above, at least that is how I remember it. Now, let's go a little bit deeper into my brain mess. I had noticed, somehow I had brainwashed myself with this cliche content, since very young. I'm not very sure if it supposed to be it was the one that brainwashed me. I just have feeling that it is improper to say so. Because first of all, it was the work of my brain.

Haiya a'lassolah. Hasten to prayer. Obviously, it's a call for us to perform the solah. Haiya a'lalfalah. Hasten to success. Here, this was where I saw it in slightly wrong way. I differentiate between solah and success. I understood them as two different things. I understood that success stands for the job, education, wealth, and etc. just like what was shown in the content. Who knew even myself, I had been this very hard to myself.

Overlooked. Do solah and success are very different from each other? Don't they more like related to each other? I don't mean what we used to say like, solat, doa, baru Allah beri senang kerja, murah rezeki or anything similar to that. I have something simpler, I think. What if solah is not merely just solah? What if success is not all about papers and collars? What if solah is the success? What if success is the solah?

We sigh. We whine. That's our human nature. We worry about success. We worry about amount of papers that need to be collect. We worry about what if our collars are not as high and strong like others. We worry about what if our wealth is not enough for later living days. It's okay. Go on with whatever you're doing. Worries can be good pusher to success.

However, some of us, or maybe most of us, worries don't only pushing them but also pulling, pressing, throwing them, all at once. From something that assists us to move, to something that causes us unable to move at all. The worries keep adding up, follow by fear and insecurity, cold sweat, heart palpitation, breathing difficulty, trembling body, anxiety. For them, you, and I, I love to share this simple idea of success.

Gratitude is the magic word. If there will be day you have it all difficult, you feel useless, worthless, and unsuccessful, you feel the greatest fear you ever feel, neither you can move yourself nor sit calmly, I love to send this gratitude to you that you've done greatest success of the day, Today you  had performed solah. Oh! I noticed something else here. Doesn't this is also the limited ticket that Allah gives to us, His believer? Solah. Like, this is included in our to-do list too.

This is my vibe, never mind the yesterday and tomorrow, you still have today to live. Either you're at your best or not, just stay, be here, today is still yours. Today, you had performed solah. Your best today's success. The second Rukun Islam, as well as the first one; syahadah, 2 times per prayer, 10 times per day. You think you did nothing? You did something, solah. You think you're nothing? You're still His believer. His beloved servant.

Guess, now I have another vibe too. My solah is my success. My success is my solah. Let's go with this one first. Only. I have a lot of worries too. My anxiety can make me cry like someone who's mourning. There will be fear, grief and despair. I hope with this new vibe, it ease me to go back to basic, my solah is my success. My success is my solah. Inshaallah.

I'm not so much knowledgeable person myself but I love feeling love. Instead of growing the attitude of Allah marahkan aku, hamba tak berguna, I love to grow love with Allah masih sayangkan aku. Sayang sangat. Ops! Sendu sikit haha. We all have been used beating ourselves, claim it is the rain before rainbow. So, at least have some moments or just a few seconds to fill and embrace it with love. We deserve love rather than rainbow.

Until here, I end this very first post of August. Thank you for reading this. Mind to share anything better in the comment. I think this topic is a little bit sensitive. So love to receive your kind words or teachings. See you in later post =)

حيَّ على الصلاة، حيَّ على الفلاح