Stoned Heart

Assalamualaikum

Hello, peeps! Apa khabar hari ni? Agaknya ingat lagi tak kat blog ni? Hehe. Biasalah kan. Blogger blog ni memang pakar bab MIA. Haha. It's Sunday. Buat apa je hari ni? Farahin? Hmm recently karenah agak random. Yang pasti banyaknya buat benda tak berfaedah. Hoho. Oh! Farahin ada good news nak share dengan y'all which is, yayyy I've finished another semester! Alhamdulillah. Hihi.

Semester ni is my second comeback after defer study. Last semester Farahin cuma ambil satu kelas but this semester Farahin ambil dua. Both classes ada test. This semester also is my first time hadap kamera masa kelas. Sebab last semester lecturer cuma send notes and messages through whatsapp. The first few weeks of this semester were difficult. But it became less as time passed. And now, I did it! Hehe.

Somehow I had cultivated and practiced another mantra or magic words this semester which is, "Kalau ianya sesuatu yang baik, sudah tentunya Allah permudahkan." I repeated this mantra whenever I started feeling anxious while doing my assignments, as if time was running out while I somehow moving slower and slower. Kelakarnya pula bila khusyuk lesap masa solat sebab fikirkan assignments, I repeated this mantra too and regained the khusyuk. Hahahaha. Simply asked Him to ease things for me and He never rejected me. How romantic.

This semester terasa berlalu degan cepat. But this first half 2021 boleh tahan panjang bagi Farahin. This is because almost every month Farahin rindukan someone so bad sampai menangis. Boleh kira macam homesick which is rare for me. Farahin bukan homesick person. Berjauhan dari rumah and family biasanya didn't give me strong pain. But it's different matter with this person. Separated from Ana since the day she got married in October 2020, plus this outbreak, I've been working on surviving this world without her next to me. Oof. Tak pernah tak rasa sebak bila mention pasal dia. She really means a lot to me. I miss her so bad.

Actually, I wasn't sure where and how should I started my today's blog. Dah lama sangat tak menulis panjang. Not even on paper. Diari Farahin dah lama krik krik. Somehow, I've become somewhat keras hati. Ada payah sikit nak hurai perasaan macam biasa. Mungkin sebab dah jarang sangat have heart to heart conversation or chat with my most trustful person which that similar to I have no right place to open up. Dammit. Miss her so so bad.

This is sudden. I'm gonna end this post here. Currently, all I can think and feel is that I miss her. I'm afraid I'm gonna break again. See ya in later post. Take care and stay home. Bye bye.