Depression As Colors

Bismillah. Assalamualaikum....

Depression As Colors. I stumbled on an ig reels a few days ago. The title was 'Depression Explained In Beautiful Way', if I don't remember it wrong. Also long time ago, maybe months ago, I had seen similar thing too. Highlight of the content was 'Telling depressed people to look at the bright side is like telling color blind people how beautiful the world is continuously'.

I let my sleepless mind replayed those reels in my blurry memory for awhile until I feel inspired to share my viewpoint, the way I saw my depression. My depression is a spectrum between black and white colors. A spectrum means there are hues, tones, saturations, and gradients. Black, white, and grey are just the most obvious ones.

Similar metaphor as color blind, but very different, living with my depression was like I had lost ability to see colors in life excepted the spectrum between black and white. My eyes didn't belong to me. My depression did. Everything I used to see, feel, sense, and appreciate in colors wasn't the same anymore. All I had was memories of colors.

The 'Just look at the bright side' wasn't same or even close to how other ordinary people did. The bright side was white. The brightest one was eyes blinding too. It hurt. Meanwhile, ordinary people can see many kinds of brightness from many colors and be overjoyed for it existence. I didn't have similar options as them.

Living with depression was a great torture from head to toe, flesh to bone. It was another side of world which you never visited. Everything looked same but didn't feel so. I felt strange, distant, disconnected, scare, abandoned, useless, weak, lonely, and dying from the intense unfamiliarity. I saw same colors everyday but to survive was likely impossible. I was alone in that world.

Depression is not a simple sadness. It is a mental illness. It is an effect of low level of serotonin produced which roots of causality are varies such as biological, lifestyle, long-term life experiences, fatal injuries, spiritual/religion practice, and etc.

Serotonin is a happy hormone. (In my own unprofessional understanding,) Hormone is connector between nerve to nerve in order to pass impulse. Impulse that is passed between nerves by serotonin is happy impulse. How do you think our mouth able to shape smile? How do our heartbeat rush out of us feeling excited? How do our eyes spill happy tears? Nerves system is actually mind blowing.

Some advices. Don't tell critically depressed people what to do. Rather than telling, do it with them. Include them in your world. Work on making them feel included. Yes, they act different and distant. So show up and proof that you accept the 'new' them. Occupy basic knowledge about depression and take note on their symptoms. There are actually a lot of things you can do rather than just telling.

I survived Major Depression Disorder. Alhamdulillah