Weak Mind

Assalamualaikum...

Hello, peeps! Apa khabar semuanya?

Puasa macam mana? Masih perform tak setakat ni? Hihi

it have been weeks Farahin biar blog ni sunyi. Sunyi tak bermakna tak berkata-kata.

Ada je tapi tak terdaya nak diluahkan. Hmm. I think I am going to write some of it today.

Sementara menunggu waktu berbuka ni. Haha

Weak Mind. That's how I was for this almost whole semester.

Something wrong here and there until my productivity pun terganggu.

Also, Farahin banyak nangis this semester.

It was like all those hardships and impossibilities that I went through

from previous two years and before that hit me hard at the back of my head.

I felt dizzy, anxious, tired, regrets, fear, depressed, and for sure, weak.

I did triggered my mind with positivity but it seemed not really listening this time.

Just today another thought went through my mind.

I would like to withdraw a course.

It was like I tried to put a blame on it for me being like this.

Yet, I know it was just a false statement.

I know it was me in trouble here.

And I tried to pass it without to face it any longer.

This is my honesty. I am tired.

I want to get chill. I want to feel rest.

Dari awal bergelar mahasiswa and now dah nak habis tahun tiga,

this is the worst state I went and am going through.

It is like watching building collapse piece by pieece, slowly.

yet I am here trying to tell myself,

"it's okay. at least i am still breathing. at least i am still alive."

I am trying hard to feel grateful yet I feel bad more at the other side.

I don't feel great.

I know this feeling. It is like a sudden storm at the middle of bright day.

Even there is the sunlight, cannot help it not to feel scare.

I already feel this way since I was kid.

Tapi sebab Farahin masih budak pada ketika tu I had never put it into a deep thought.

I wish I can be that naive kid again. Growing is suck! That was what another my bad thought told me.

So, yeah. I think I can stop here.

Dah pukul tujuh pun. Selamat berbuka semua!

Bubye.

when you're happy, you enjoy the song.
when you're sad, you understand the lyrics.

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Letter of Happiness Giveaway by Blog Siqahiqa

Assalamualaikum...

Hey, peeps! Farahin nak try tuah blog lagilah.

Well, dah lama tak aktif join ga ni kan.

Syarat pun simple. Hadiah pun awesome.

Jom join sama. Klik je banner tu =)

Syarat Penyertaan Giveaway: 

1. Follow Blog Siqahiqa (follower gadget ada di page footer)

2. Follow Facebook page BLOG SIQAHIQA

3. Follow Instagram @haqisfila dan @siqahiqa_

4. Copy banner dan buat satu entri bertajuk “Letter of Happiness Giveaway by Blog Siqahiqa”. (please backlink). 

5. Publish entri anda dan tinggalkan link pada ruangan komen.

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ITS TIME FOR A GIVEAWAY BY OMBAKBERGIGI

Its Time For A Giveaway By OmbakBergigi bermula dari saat ini, 12.00 tengahari 24 April 2018 sehingga 11.59 malam 8 May 2018. Semua blogger yang bermastautin di Malaysia dijemput join. 5 pemenang bertuah dicari. Hadiah berupa ole-ole fridge magnet dan keychain (will upload soon).

Syarat-syaratnya :

1. Follow blog Ombak Bergigi, Add To Circle Google+ Ombak Bergigi, dan Follow Instagram @ombakbergigi (jika ada)
2. Buat entri bertajuk ITS TIME FOR A GIVEAWAY BY OMBAKBERGIGI
3. Copy coding yang telah disediakan dan paste kan ke dalam ruangan HTML dan Publish entri.
4. Hantar URL entri anda ke dalam ruangan komen 
5. Segmen akan tamat pada 11.59 malam 8 May 2018.

Pemenang akan dipilih melalui cabutan bertuah manual dan keputusan pemenang akan diumumkan pada 8 May 2018.

** support I ya.....

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A Survival Week

Assalamualaikum...

 

Hello, pals! How's your day? Dah lunch belum? Farahin belum lunch. Nak sembang sikit dekat blog ni. Well, quite long menyepi kan. Kasi tiup sikit habuk2 kat blog ni. Huhu. My last post wasn't not really a fine story. Well, I had my upside down too. Sometimes. But no worry. I am still living. Alhamdulillah.

By the way, nak story sikit about last week. It was a week of survival! *bgm: it's sparta!!* Dengan elektrik on off pasal pencawang utama in maintenance. Assignment dah lah menimbun. Tak ada elektrik, tak ada wifi, tak ada lah progress assignment, and so tak ada life. Bukan assigment je. Laundry pun. Haha. Rumet memang pakat bebel semua. Well. Farahin chill je. Sebab Farahin dah biasa mendobi pijak lanyak je my laundry.  Hahahahaha

Other than that, there was a thrill moment where our hostel was on fire. Ohmaigod! Bila dengar jiran2 bilik menjerit apiiiiii memang kalut sungguh dah. Tambah panik bila ada dengar orang cakap mesin basuh meletup. Takut2 jadi letupan besar macam dalam filem tu kan. Hahahaha. Ada tu sempat lagi ingatkan selamatkan laptop. Duh! Laptop is a student's second life kot. Haha

The funny parts were, masa kebakaran tu memang kelakar sangat. Farahin sempat ceroboh masuk bilik orang dan rembat kain batik dia nak buat tutup kepala. Itulah first time Farahin pakai kain batik. Yes. I never wore one until that night. Kahkahkah. Also during that moment, Farahin baru je nak layan live action anime Fullmetal Alchemist. Duk landing atas katil. Double decker. Atas. Huhuhu. Tapi Alhamdulillah semua selamat. Tak ada yang tergolek tangga ke atau terjun dari tingkap sebab panik. By the way, kain batik tu Farahin dah pulang taw dekat tuannya. Hahahaha

Rentetan dari kejadian, mesin basuh dah tak ada. RIP. Masing2 menggonyoh je lah. Hahahaha. Itulah first time merasa real thrill of fire. Acah je fire drill perform. Bila real moment, semua pakat fikir mati tapi masih nak hidup. Hahahaha. Rumet Farahin sampai tak ingat nak pakai selipar. Aduuuuhai lawok hahahahaha

Till then, thank you for reading this till end.

Cuba gelak sikit dekat kotak comment. Hehe

Well, have a nice day! Jom lunch.

Bubye =)

Life is a live performance with surprising gimmicks and malfunctions.

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Sick Mind

Assalamualaikum...

Night, peeps! How's your day?

It's already midnight. But I think I need to put some scratches here.

It was a fine day. But it wasn't as fine as usual. My mood went off the whole day. Since morning until now. Actually this isn't my first time. This happened for sometimes. It got me tired even though I was just lying on my bed the whole day. It got me distracted even I did nothing but only being lazy.

I  don't talk since I finished my only one class today. Only texting everywhere whenever I wanted to. At some point, I had some weird creepy thought like screaming crazily, punching stuffs until my hands bleed, throwing stuffs, and more. The worst was when I started to think about between live and death. Yet I still had myself in a place doing nothing. I claimed, they were just some random thoughts.

There were noises in my mind. It couldn't be actually heard but it seemed my ears didn't lied. No matter how hard i tried to keep it shut, the stronger it got. I wanted to scream but ended up clenched my teeth. I felt anger and frustrated for no reasons. Everything I saw, I did, I heard, seemed hateful.

I used to name this one situation of my mind as 'She'. Why? Because it always remind me of my younger self and her dark secret. At this moment, I would say "she's missing me" since it had been quite long I kept her silent inside me. She is the negativity that I always try to conceal and she is really obedient to my demand. So yeah, sometimes she did this to me to remind me of her existence (?)

I have no complain. Just how I used to keep her close to me, I know I can handle this time by time. I couldn't throw her away no matter how dark and ugly she is. No matter what she is deserved to be loved. Because she is me. By the way, I am feeling better now after consulted my best friend. She had her day too. So we consulted each other. Our mutualism is just perfect. Haha

Till then, thank you for reading until the end.

Good night! Have a well rest, everyone =)

If you cannot find yourself, it is time to create one.

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