Perasaan Ini

Aku baring di atas katil sambil melihat ke arah lampu yang ada di siling. Lama. Kemudian, tiba-tiba air mata mengalir keluar meleleh hingga menyentuh telinga. Sejuk. Aku angkat tangan aku dan biarkan bayang-bayangnya jatuh ke muka aku. Aku tak tahu apa yang aku cuba lakukan. Mungkin cuma benda bodoh. Aku dapat lihat cahaya lampu di antara celahan jari-jemari. Air mata semakin galak mengalir. Aku katakan  pada diri aku. “Kenapa aku mesti rasa sakit? Cemburu? Perasaan ni buat aku terseksa. Perasaan ni buat aku rasa putus asa. Perasaan ni buat aku tak dapat terima diri sendiri. Ya Allah, kenapa aku berperasaan begini?” Aku tak faham apa yang telah aku omelkan. Aku Cuma ungkapkan apa yang aku rasa dalam lisan. Payah. Adalah payah untuk aku katakana apa yang aku rasakan. Yang jelas cuma rasa sakit.

p/s: First cry in 2013. huhu

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Kyute Birthday Project For Siwon!

Assalamualaikum...

Annyeong! Wahhh mood fangirling ni. Fangirling ya. Bukan fangirldik. Hahaa. Tadi visits my CME group a.k.a Community Of Malaysian ELF. Sudah lama tak jenguk chingu, unnie, oppa di sana.Then nampak post dari seorang unnie ini. It's a birthday project for Siwon oppa! Seriously project ni kyute + sweet sangat! Plus, simple je pun. Berhasrat nak join tapi...Farahin tak kerja lagi. Malulah nak tapau duit parents pasal benda-benda begini. Apapun, ELF! 'Siwonnest' yang tidak ada apa-apa halangan untuk join tu joinlah eh. Kpoper yang selainnya yang adore our Siwon pun digalakkan join juga! hehe. More details HERE. 

My friend pernah kata Siwon oppa ni bajet handsome. Tapi kan...dia memang handsome! Tak kisahlah tuu! Huhu

p/s: kite tak dapat nak join. jadi tolong spread-kan je ya.

luv for Siwon & ELF!

Jom baca my fiction HERE!
Oh oh! Ada blogger nak bagi free brooch kat SINI.

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ELFiction: I Love You -Part1- (Siwon ft. Eunhyuk)

Perghhh berlagak retis nampak Farahin buat cover fiction sendiri? Hehe. Tidak bermaksud begitu! Sekadar mencuba menggunakan teknologi serba canggih yang sedia ada. Habis payah sangat nak jumpa gambar EunSi berdua! Hae mesti ada saja menyelit di mana-mana. huhu. Ini kerja Farahin cuti CNY ni. hehe.

p/s: Do comment my broken english ya. hee

Choi Si Won and you are foster siblings. Both you don’t have any blood relationship. However, you and Siwon are very closed. You was brought by his dad when you was a baby and has become part of the family. But then Siwon’s mother never liked even loved you. She always scold you and hit you sometimes. Siwon  is not willing to let you be treated in such way by his mother so he brought you to live with him.

You still on your bed when Siwon silently entered your room. He opened the window of your room and let the cold morning breeze blowing into your room. He then slowly stroking your head and wake you up.

Siwon: Good morning.

You: Morning.

Siwon: Wake up. School is waiting for you. I have prepared the breakfast.

You: Arasseo. I want get a shower first.

Siwon: Sure. I wait. –leaving the room-

After finished taking your shower and had a yummy breakfast which had prepared by Siwon, you then went to school by car driven by Siwon. As you arrived in front of the school, as always you kissed Siwon’s cheek before enter the school.

You: I’m going. –kiss his cheek and leave the car-

Siwon: Err _______ah. –out from the car-

You: -stop- Yae.

Siwon: -went towards you and suddenly hug you-

You: Yah, oppa. Waeyo?

Siwon: Nothing. Just want to hug you.

You: Huh? Oppa. You sounds sad.

Siwon: -let you go- Hmm take care yourself okay. –smile-

You: Yae. You too. –smile brightly and kiss his cheek again then enter the school-

Your class was having a Mathematic subject. Suddenly, the principal entered the class and brought a student along with him. He then leave the class and the student.

Teacher: Class. Today we have a new student. His name is Lee Hyuk Jae. Hope you all be nice to him.

Eunhyuk: -bow- Annyeonghaseyo. My name is Lee Hyuk Jae. You can call me Eunhyuk. Hope we can be good friends.

Teacher: Alright. Eunhyuk. You can have your seat.

Eunhyuk walked along the row where you were in and take his sit behind you.

The bell sign of recess time just rang. You want go to the canteen and buy some food for your hungry stomach. But then you saw Eunhyuk stayed still at his seat so you bravely tried to approach him.

You: Hi.

Eunhyuk: Hi.

You: Erm don’t want go to the canteen along?

Eunhyuk: Ha? We?

You: Yup. So?

Eunhyuk: Err okay.

You then spent your recess time with Eunhyuk. Both of you then took the advantage to know each other better. Day after day, both you and Eunhyuk got closer. Even the students started making story that both of you were in love. However, you and Eunhyuk never care about that. Both of you even love it. Plus, both of you were single.

You was waiting for Siwon in front of the school gate. It has been about 30 minutes and you even feels tired waiting for him. Plus, the day was getting dark. Luckily, there was Eunhyuk.  At first, Eunhyuk want sent you home by his motorcycle. But then, Eunhyuk take you a ride around the city till its night.

You: Eunhyuk-ah. Thank you for taking me a ride.

Eunhyuk: You’re welcome. Err can I ask you something?

You: Yes, sure.

Eunhyuk: I heard you live with your foster brother. Is that true?

You: Yae. Wae?

Eunhyuk: Oh, nothing. Just asking. Err It’s late. You should get in now.

You: Okay. See you tomorrow at school.

Eunhyuk: Alright.

You: Bye.

Eunhyuk started the engine and leave the house. You then entered the house with a bright smile on your face. Somehow you felt very happy on that night. When you entered the house, you was shocked when saw Siwon was sitting in the living room. You thought he still not returned yet. Plus his car was not in front the house.

You: Oh, oppa. When did you back?

Siwon: Where just you went from?

You: Err oppa. Mianhae. I just went out with my friend...

Siwon: Who? That kid? Don’t you know that I wait for you?

You: I wait for you too. But then I thought you may had some job to do so...

Siwon: So go with that kid! –started yelling-You can’t even waiting for me a minute? Why don’t you took a bus just like usual?

You: -the eyes started tearing.- Mianhae.

You apologised him and ran to your room. It was your first time got scold by Siwon and you was freaking shocked. Along this time he always talked to you nicely. He never raised his voice towards you. He even bravely raised his voice towards mother to protect you.

You: -crying because of shocked- Tsk..

Siwon: -entered your room- ________-ah.

You: -quickly wiped your tears-

Siwon: -sight. Sat beside you on the bed- Mianhae. I raised my voice.

You: -ignored him-

Siwon: -kneel in front of you and wiped your tears- Jeoseonghaeyo?

You: -nod-

Siwon: _______-ah.

You: -looked at him with the red eyes-

Siwon: -suddenly gently kissed your lips-

You: -shocked- Op...pa.

Siwon: Saranghaeyo. Don’t make me worry about you. I hate it.–leave the room-

You: -in the heart- What happened just now? Oppa...kissed me?-blur-

To be continue...

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Mempengaruhi

Assalamualaikum...

Seorang sahabat semestinya menjadi ikutan sahabat-sahabatnya yang lain. Jika bukan seratus peratus, mungkin cuma separuh daripadanya atau mungkin juga cuma sebahagian sahaja. Namun begitu, bukan aku berniat untuk mempengaruhinya.

Dia bertanyakan pendapat dariku yang biasa-biasa. Hendak dikatakan bijaksana, tidaklah sebijak mana. Namun begitu, adalah tanggungjawabku sebagai sahabat membantu atau meringankan beban sahabatku yang lain. Aku ikhlas.

Dia bertanyakan bagaimana cara melupakan crush-nya. Aku yang sudah lupa bagaimana rasanya cinta, hanya mencadangkan apa yang terlintas di minda. Hanya menyuarakan suara hati yang kononnya sentiasa benar.

Aku mencadangkan berhenti sahaja berhubung dengannya. Mungkin cara ini kelihatan kasar. Tetapi inilah yang hatiku hakimkan sebagai keputusan muktamad.

Aku faham adalah sukar menghentikan perhubungan secara tiba-tiba. Apatah lagi dengan mereka yang sudah lama kita kenal. Namun itu cuma cadangan sahaja. Bukan niat mempengaruhinya.

Bagiku lembut hati usah dimanja. Tegaskan pendirian, keraskan hati. Perempuan. Ihsannya sentiasa ada. Dan kerana ihsan itulah adakala ia membinasa.

Seperti yang aku katakan padanya. Masakan ada pelangi kalau tidak kerana adanya hujan? Makanya, biarlah bersakit-sakit dahulu. Kelak sembuhnya awal.

Bukan aku tidak kenal rasa sakit. Semestinya aku kenal. Kerana rasa sakit itulah mendewasakan hatiku pada hari ini. Namun begitu, adalah baik bersakit sekarang, sembuhnya kemudian. Daripada sakit berterusan sampai kata tiada lagi jalan.

I've hyperhydrosis...

Sahabat antara insan yang paling paling paling aku sayang. Insan yang paling paling paling aku ambil berat. Terutamanya hati dan emosi mereka. Mungkin benar sayangku ini tidak berapa jelas pada mereka. Tetapi ia cukup jelas bagiku. Aku umpama paha kanan yang bakal terasa tatkala paha kiri dicubit. Aku paling benci melihat sahabatku menangis. Terutama kerana lelaki. Kerana cinta.

p/s: Nothing to post. Just share what do Farahin feel tonight. huhu

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Jiwa Kaki Follow

Assalamualaikum...

Hmm panas buntut duduk atas katil sambil blogwalking berjam-jam sejak dari tadi. Dari tadi? Bila tu? Hehe. Tak payahlah tahu ya. Hmm bila dah sakit pinggang duduk bersila lama-lama, meniarap pula sambil golek-golek dengan bantal peluk ala-ala filem hindi. Namun begitu, aktiviti blogwalking tetap dijalankan. Bagai polis trafik fokus bertugas di waktu malam. Hahaa...!

Best saja blogwalking ni bila diri sedang rajin and mood macam happy yeppi saja. Sambil-sambil post surat berantai di shout box, cuci-cuci mata tengok keindahan blog-blog yang ada. Tak kurang juga membeliakkan mata bila takdir menemukan Farahin dengan blog-blog Kpopers yang obsess sukses dengan bias mereka. Selain itu, buat juga kerja amal follow blog-blog yang di blogwalking. Baca entry? Kadang baca, kadang tak. Entry panjang without perenggan. Uiseyh! Juling mata nak baca. Kadang baca separuh, kadang baca sekerat. Komen? Most be a silent reader only. hehe. Why? Farahin tak tahu nak respon apa. Well, that's one of my weakness. Payah nak respon about beberapa perkara.

Namun begitu, sakit mata sakit lagi hati bila tak dapat follow blog-blog yang awesome lagi gorgeous tu. Well, I am so addicted to follow any blog that I found in this World Wide Websites. Jadi bila tak dapat follow, rasa macam hubby kena caras dengan ulat gendun gedik. Panassss saja. Kalau letak nugget atas kepala ni, 2 minit ala-ala maggi segera dah masak. Mana taknya tak dapat follow. Official Follower Gadget tak ada! Rasa hangin je kan. Berdengus macam seladang ready nak tanduk orang. Kalau yang use blogskin tu, fine I understand. Payah nak cari kod gadget follower tu. Tapi ini yang guna template ni. Eeeeee! Sembelit dibuatnya.

Hmm penatlah nak ulang banyak kali! Button follow ala-ala tumblr tu useless lah. Looks smart tapi memang sangat useless! Hanya blogger yang sudah follow 300 blog ke bawah saja boleh follow blog dengan benda alah tu. Selebihnya, kena tendang! You know kena tendang?! Huhh. Farahin bebel macam ni bukannya nak tunjuk cerdik. Tapi ini jiwa Kaki Follow babe. Panass je bila tak dapat follow blog-blog yang awesome, gorgeous, meletop, sukses, etc. Huhu. Dari mood over excited blogwalking, rasa macam busannn je. Hohoo.

Oleh itu, patik mohon kepada tuan hamba sekalian, ya ampun! Bisa gak kalo Official Follower Gadget itu diletakkan di blog mu?! Aku ketagih tawu mawu follownya. Aduh! Kan dah. Rasukan Indonesia sebentar tadi. Hahaa. Jadi baik anda letakkan follower gadget supaya tabiat Kaki Follow Farahin maintain je. Jangan bagi dia berganti dari Kaki Follow ke Follow Kaki. Susah hidup nanti. Hihi. Gurau je.

p/s: Moga follower blogger sedunia meningkat ya. Jangan marah dengan entry ni. hehe :)

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