The Unseen

Assalamualaikum...

Hi, friends ! Tonight will be a random post.

Happy reading !

do i see what i see? does what is seen is what it is? i have this insane thought which i used to think that what is seen is also what is unseen. because when we know what does exists, we know something that is opposite to it is what does not exists. guess, that's what common sense means.

however, how many of us curious about what is unseen? how many of us tend to judge just based on what we see? how many of us ask some random questions that actually hit the right spot? how many of us willing to understand?

no need to look at the people around. just look at ourselves. how many eyes we tend to meet and straightly put on accusation that is not even valid to ourselves? "i'm ugly." "i'm bad". "i'm not good". "i'm useless". "i'm sorry". how many "sorry" that  we pray for instead of "thank you"?

we claimed that the society is the one is at fault. meanwhile, we're also the part of that society. we wrongly judge ourselves. we see what we want to see but not what as it is. it's the individual makes the society. so who's actually at fault now?

i, myself had my wrong. wrongs. i have pasts that are more like nightmares than just bad memories. i have scars that i put on myself. intentionally. that is how much, how bad, or maybe worst, it took for me to learn that how ridiculous it is to be sorry for something i should not be. i learned, pain over pain does not works the healing. and wrongly judging myself is not a favorable attitude.

it's a nature, a human nature, that we love everything that is beautiful to sight. but that's not the only nature we have. one of the many, we get up when we fall. unintentionally. unknowingly. embarrassingly. because life lefts us no choice but chances for changes. we have no choice to get up when we fall because that is the only chance we have so we can change this embarrassing moment to something we can proud of and laugh at for quite sometimes.

what is kindness to us? is it when someone did it to us? is it when someone gave it to us? is it when someone meant it for us? so, what it is when there is no one did so? does the kindness lost it mean just like that? in my opinion, kindness is what make me happy and satisfied. either it is done by someone else to me or me to someone, both works the same. so, stop waiting and wanting. because we can do the kindness for ourselves and others.

please. stop that attitude. stop that attitude of wrongly judging yourselves. stop that attitude of wrongly judging people. what we see, hear, feel, is as it is and not as it is. mathematically, it's 50/50 probability. those 50 have chance to change to more than 50 up to 100. yet efforts is needed. the end result is the real thing. either it is positive or negative, take it as it is and applause to the efforts we take. because efforts are matters. better lost the battle rather than being a runaway soldier.

until here, i know this post is kind of random. i don't have any actual theme. i just want to spread out the stacking messes in my mind. also, it's kind of reminder to myself. after all, wish you a better you and love yourself. always. thank you for reading this till the end. thoughts and comments, or maybe a dare confessions are open to be sent. i appreciate it.

last and least,

good luck !

xoxo =)

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Trigger

Breath, breath, breath !

don't you feel the urge ?

the urge to breath ?

to live,

or die ?

Breath, breath, breath !

Soak in tears

Shower in sweats

feel that heat ?

the warmth of rushing blood.

Why is not the question.

Why is a rebel.

Stomp over the cold floor.

Shout at the white empty ceiling.

Live !

Hands wrapping around.

Not my trembling body

but my pale neck.

Don't you feel the urge?

the urge to breath ?

Live !

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Buzzy Lazy

Assalamualaikum...

Hello, peeps! How're you feeling these days?

Me? Clearly as mentioned in the title, I am buzzy lazy.

I'm busy. But also lazy at the same time. Lmao

This whole week, it's a kind of holiday. Because all my classes are done so there will be no lectures or labs anymore. However, next week will be kind of nerve wrecking. All presentations and report submission for mini projects will be due. Yet still, here me sneaking out from the hellish student's life and being scratchy scratchy on my blog. Hehe. There are still a lot more to be done but I just don't feel to switch my robot mode on.

Okay. Let's not talk about those mini projects and their fella reports. I'm here mean to have fun and being lazy. Let me tell you a story of a young officer aka Leftenan Muda Nurfarahin. Yeah, me. It was a two weeks old story though. Hahahaha

So, two weeks ago, on Wednesday, supposed I was on duty to take care of the morning role call and evening training. Unfortunately, I read my timetable wrong so I was absent during that morning role call. Just at the evening, I noticed my mistake. While that time, the evening training already started about 45 minutes ago.

Yes. I was at fault. I was clumsy. I was at blame. And for anyone who make mistake, guess it's normal to feel nervous for some reasons. So did I. I was thinking either should I just skipped the evening training and let the other young officer who volunteered to replace me that day. But I remembered one thing, all the way me went back to my dorm from a talk that I attended, I remembered my parent used to asked when will I on duty? Have I started my duty?

Somehow, remembering those questions putted my mind to sane. If I skipped that evening training, that would be a disappointment to my parent. Not just that. It will shows an immature and irresponsible me as a young officer. Obviously, not a good image for the trainees.

At last, I sped up to my room and changed my clothes and ran down again to the training place. I was an hour late since the training started. And I only had at least 45 minutes left for my duty. Anyway, I patted myself for my decision. It wasn't that big but I knew I did something right. Sometimes, we don't have that opportunity to make things back to right but we can stop it from being a bigger mistake. That's what I think. You guys should do so to yourself. Don't blame yourself all the time. Because people make mistakes, young or old no matter. The matter is what we learned from those mistakes.

Till here, guess enough for now.

Thank you for your visit!

Bubye =)

Pain over pain does not works the healing.

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Was Hectic, And Still

Assalamualaikum...

Hola! Apa khabar kengkawan semua?

Ya Allah what a celebration when Farahin dapat conteng2 dekat blog ni.

Hectic sangat dengan final year project.

Sampai supervisor pun sanggup stay dekat office till night

demi student dia yang slow seorang ni.

Nak nangis rasa bila jumpa supervisor semalam.

Muka ketat, jantung debo, Farahin lah tu.

Tapi dia rilek2 je. Cakap pun elok2 je. Sempat borak lagi.

I was like, Ya Allah! Baiknya sv aku ni. Terharu sangat.

Actually, I was done with everything cuma

tengah siap2 nak pergi binding then pergi ofis sv.

But then he messaged said that,

datang ambil sign je pun boleh...nanti sambung buat.

Jadi tak fikir banyak, grab everything, every document,

then berdezuppp pergi ofis sv.

I binded my report after went back from his office.

Well, susah hati pula biar sv tunggu lama2 kan 

even actually memang dah lama betul.

Apapun, just this morning I submitted all the documents to faculty.

Alhamdulillah. Lega sikit rasa. Even after that

ada presentation which I didn't study anything for it.

Because why? Because semalam pukul 11 pun dah shut down atas katil.

Farahin tak tidur semalaman kot.

I guess it was already more than 24 hours I was awake.

Pagi ni bangun pun memang kepala, badan still rasa berat.

After all, Alhamdulillah report fyp dah submit.

Tinggal presentation next week.

Minta dipermudahkan semuanya, Inshaallah.

Till here, thank you for reading this.

I'll be back. See you soon.

xoxo =)

We're not born to be paranoid but curious.
Hypothesis is accepted?

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Pinocchio (Taemin x Bewhy)

Assalamualaikum...

Real intentions hidden under a smiling mask

it has turns cold, my gaze

the lies i tell you is expressionless

i am used to it

but i wanna be, wanna be

Under the white smile, the black lies

I pretend as if they were true

as if they were sincere

The truth that is hidden deeper inside

At this rate, I think I may lose my real self

I'd rather, someone else

To see right through me, Oh I

Real intentions hidden under a smiling mask
it has turns cold, my gaze
the lies i tell you is expressionless
i am used to it

Rather, I wanna be Pinocchio

I wanna be wanna be Pinocchio

I wanna be wanna be Pinocchio

I'm used to it

But I wanna be wanna be

My expression and attitude lack of transparency

Nobody sees through my fake attitude

I'm used to lying

where has my innocence gone

Standing between love and business

I don't even know my real intentions

My unconsciousness is like poison to me

My craving for innocence strangles me

Real intentions hidden under a smiling mask
it has turns cold, my gaze
the lies i tell you is expressionless
i am used to it

Rather, I wanna be Pinocchio
I wanna be wanna be Pinocchio
I wanna be wanna be Pinocchio
I'm used to it
But I wanna be wanna be

If I'm gonna live with a mask on
If I'm not going to be honest
I'd rather be
The innocent Pinocchio

If I'm gonna live with a mask on
If I'm not going to be honest
I'd rather be
The innocent Pinocchio

Real intentions hidden under a smiling mask
it has turns cold, my gaze
my lies even fool me
I'm used to it

Rather, I wanna be Pinocchio
I wanna be wanna be Pinocchio
I wanna be wanna be Pinocchio
I'm used to it
But I wanna be wanna be

Stuck between assignments, mini projects, and final year project. The only pill I take to keep my eyes open and my mind working, other than snacks and game is songs. So I let my youtube played for hours and then it reached to this clip. It was the clip from a show of this year named The Call and the Season 1 is already ended. The moment I listened to this song, I was so captivated.

Taemin is one my favorite singers. His songs and dances are all so breath taking. While Bewhy is the very first Korean rapper I know. I don't really listen to his work but I remember watching his live of Day Day. The combination of this duo was almost impossible but not anymore.

What amazed me most is the song. The poetic lyrics, the beat that is like sounds of calm heartbeat, all got me chained up. Guess anyone can relate to this song. About the lies and secret that we try so hard to keep yet at the same time we hope someone can just see it without saying anything. Like those lies and secrets are nothing to point out.

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